KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox 'Betty' has been aggressive toward her mother

Dear Annie: Last summer, a widow (I'll call her "Betty") expressed an interest in buying my parents' house, which my father built with his own hands. When he died a few years ago, my 83-year-old mother put her name on a list for an apartment in a nearby retirement complex. However, Mom became ill, and she was no longer eligible for the apartment. She has since decided to stay in the house until she finds a better place.
Betty has been quite aggressive toward my mother, calling often and asking about the house. When I visited Mom last week, Betty showed up and made herself at home. She guided my mother into the living room and sat down with her to chat. When I walked in, Betty was reading an appraisal on the house that she had gotten from someone she hired.
When Mom lay down for her afternoon nap, I sent an e-mail to my siblings, informing them of Betty's offer. I discovered that one of my sisters had contacted Betty and asked her to stop bothering Mom. Betty was quite nasty toward my sister.
I told my siblings I don't want Betty to buy the house. So far, no papers have been signed, but it's clear to me that Betty is wearing Mom down. Since Betty went to the trouble of getting a professional appraisal, do we have to sell her the house? We don't want to get into any legal trouble. Mom's Overprotective Daughter
Dear Daughter: No, you don't have to sell her the house. Nonetheless, Mom sounds quite vulnerable. She has the right to sell to whomever she chooses, whether or not you approve, but since you dislike Betty so intensely, you should discuss your apprehensions with Mom. Perhaps it's time to hire a Realtor to show the house to other prospective buyers and diminish Betty's influence, or ask Mom to put the house in your name (or one of your sibling's) so you will be responsible for the sale.
Dear Annie: Can you please answer a question for me? My father-in-law always tells my husband not to overfill the gas tanks in our cars. I, too, have asked him to stop doing it, but he still does. I have seen signs at the gas stations asking customers not to overfill the tank. I have a great fear of dying in an explosion or car fire. How can I get my husband to stop this practice? Worried in Southern California
Dear Worried: The Environmental Protection Agency recommends that customers not top off the gas tank because even little drips that fall onto the pavement can contaminate soil, groundwater or surface water. More dangerously, the excess vapors could result in fire.
If your husband won't stop this practice for your sake or for environmental safety, perhaps he will stop when he realizes that he may be paying for gas he isn't getting. According to the Arizona Department of Weights and Measures, when he keeps pumping after the dispenser registers that the tank is full, the extra gas may actually be returning to the gas station's underground storage tank instead of into his car.
Dear Annie: I've been meaning to write since I read your column in the Bakersfield Californian about the origin of the phrase "tow the line." You printed several possibilities for "toe the line," mostly from British sources.
The phrase I'm familiar with is, "I pay the freight, and you tow the line." It comes from the days when the Mississippi (and other rivers) were used as freight highways and flat-bottom boats were towed upstream by hand or mule. To save money, shippers could supply labor to tow the line in exchange for a better price of moving their goods. Cal in California
Dear Cal: We learn something new every day. Thanks for sharing.
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