'Matt' is a product of an affair

Dear Annie: I have a 15-month-old son I'll call "Matthew." Matthew is not my husband's child. He is the product of an affair with "Chris," a married man. Chris has never told his wife and adult children about Matthew, although I'm sure they will find out eventually. This is a small town.
My husband is aware that Matthew is not his biological son, but he doesn't know that I take Matt to see Chris several times a week for short visits. I recently informed Chris that my husband wants paternity testing done. Since then, Chris has started giving me $25 every week. I am a bit offended, because until the threat of a paternity test, he didn't contribute a dime toward Matthew's care, even though the baby was born prematurely and had extensive medical bills.
My best friend says I shouldn't allow Matthew to have a relationship with Chris. Is she right? And should I accept his money? I believe Chris loves Matt, and I want to do what's best for my child. Confused Mom in Kansas
Dear Kansas: First confess to your husband that Matt has been seeing Chris. He needs you to be honest because his attitude is the more crucial one. Is he willing to raise Matt and love him as his own, regardless of the paternity results? The home environment will have a great impact on Matt's future, so be sure you and your husband discuss it thoroughly, and, if necessary, bring in counselors who can help.
Since Matthew already has developed a relationship with Chris, you should allow it to continue. The boy needs to see that his biological father loves him, and Chris absolutely should be paying court-ordered child support. Talk to a lawyer about what is fair.
Dear Annie: I used to give blood to the Red Cross two or three times a year. However, the last time I donated blood, I received a letter saying I tested indeterminate for HIV and could no longer donate.
I am a widow and have had no sexual relations since my husband died. Needless to say, I was shocked by this letter. I decided to be tested by my own doctor, and that test came back negative. I went to the Red Cross and insisted on a retest, and it, too, came back negative.
Nonetheless, the Red Cross told me I could never give blood again, even though I was cleared. Does this make any sense to you? Misdiagnosed
Dear Misdiagnosed: Actually, the regulations about accepting blood come from the Food and Drug Administration. According to the FDA, testing positive or indeterminate for HIV or hepatitis (usually more than once) can put you on a list of permanently deferred donors. While these regulations cut down on the risks to the blood supply, there are also instances of false positives. Unfortunately, the rules don't yet cover exceptions such as yours. Sorry.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Looking Toward My Future," who suffered a nervous breakdown seven years ago and hasn't worked since. "Future" was worried what prospective employers would say about that blank space in his resume.
As a worker in the mental health field, I'd like to suggest that he check out Occupational Vocational Rehabilitation Services through his local mental health center or the state job-employment center. These kind workers can help him assess his abilities, and provide job training and other support services to aid him in becoming successfully employed. I commend him for all the work he's done and wish him the best in the future. Want To Help in the Midwest
Dear Midwest: Thank you for your compassionate and helpful suggestion.
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