She can have the money; he just wants his freedom

Dear Annie: I am 46 years old and have three children, ages 16, 14 and 11. I have been married to a great woman for 22 years. My problem? I am bored and tired of being married.
I find that I am constantly wishing I were single again, not so much to see other women, but to be able to make my own decisions and live the way I want without my wife's approval or influence. I have no intention of abandoning my kids and will continue to support my wife. She can have all the money. I just want my freedom.
I know you will tell me to get counseling, etc., but I really would like to hear from other men who have been in this situation. Did they leave their wives? Did they regret it? I am getting older and believe that if I am going to make a change, I need to do it now before I am regretful and bitter. Restless in St. Louis
Dear Restless: You are certainly not alone, but that doesn't mean you should rely on the reasons other men give for wanting out of their marriages. Every situation is different. Some people would describe your feelings as a midlife crisis, a time when men see that they are getting older, their dreams are fading and this could be their last chance to bring renewed excitement and energy back into their lives.
Do you still love your wife? If so, try to rekindle your romance. Plan a vacation to an exotic location. If you are looking for thrills, take up a new hobby, like skydiving or bungee jumping. If you can afford it, quit your job and find something more fulfilling. If this doesn't work, a separation may give you time to assess your situation, but please don't walk away without a fight.
Dear Annie: Recently, some of my college buddies and I went out for a nice dinner. After being seated, we were almost completely ignored by our waiter. While other tables seemed to get their complimentary items refilled regularly, we had to ask several times for more water and breadsticks.
I'm betting this waiter assumed we were ignorant as to proper tipping protocol and didn't want to bother with us if there wasn't anything extra in it for him. Would it be appropriate to nip this in the bud? I'm thinking of quietly saying something like, "Sir, we want to assure you that we will properly compensate you for your service tonight." What do you think? Frustrated in Fresno, Calif.
Dear Fresno: You could certainly try it, although it shouldn't be necessary. Smart servers know better than to generalize about patrons. Your server could learn this by receiving decent tips from college students, or you could discuss his rude service with the restaurant manager, who will then educate the waitstaff.
Dear Annie: I have been married to a great husband for five years, and we have two young children. My problem is so small, I hate to make a big deal of it.
My husband never remembers to buy me cards for Valentine's Day or Mother's Day. The only reason he remembers my birthday is because I tell him when it's coming up. I love my husband very much, and I know I should be thankful that this is our only problem, but it hurts my feelings. I always remember him. Why does he forget about me? Feeling Forgotten
Dear Forgotten: Many men are not attuned to remembering birthdays and holidays. That's why you have to tell them. You can be direct and say, "Mother's Day is coming up, and I'd love to get a card from you." Or you can put cute heart-shaped notes on his pillow or shaving mirror, saying, "Two weeks until Valentine's Day!" Whatever works.
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