What's best for the children isn't always cut and dried

What's best for the childrenisn't always cut and dried
EDITOR:
This is in response to the June 14 letter titled "What's best for children of divorce?" In that letter, the writer defends Ohio's policy of awarding child custody on the basis of "presumptive shared parenting," the assumption by the court that shared custody is best for the children unless one parent is shown to be extremely incompetent.
I strongly agree that both parents must be willing to take an active role in making their children's lives as normal as possible. However, in this letter I wish to stress that in many cases, a normal and happy life for the children is best achieved through sole custody. Alternating homes every two weeks and living out of a suitcase hardly seems like a normal life. This stress on the children would be defensible if the pros of dual custody outweigh the cons, but even this is often not the case.
The writer claims that sole custody encourages power play by the residential parent, but shared parenting only magnifies this problem. She also argues that it is unfair for the nonresidential parent to financially support a child he or she has limited involvement with. For my part, I feel this reasoning reveals a selfish attitude wherein the parent's, not the child's, needs are put first. Moreover, her reasoning would entail that a deadbeat dad shouldn't be financially responsible because of his (voluntary) limited involvement. Setting this point aside, the June 14 letter presents us with a false choice: sole custody by no means implies that the noncustodial parent has limited involvement.
In a perfect situation, both parents help the children with homework, encourage them to practice their instruments, drive them to practices, games, school functions and scheduled doctor appointments. Unfortunately, children of divorce are subjected to negative talk about the other parent and step-parents, and are often left to feel like they are forced to take sides. This is because usually people divorce as a result of their disagreements about important issues of religions, education and values.
Shared parenting can easily disrupt the routine and destroy the continuity that children need to thrive and feel secure. Children of parents with shared custody often go to their church half the time, attend half of their games and fall behind in any activity perceived to be encouraged by one parent. The result of this is a child who withdraws from anything that causes conflict. Therefore, courts should award custody on a case-by-case basis, without the presumption that one and not the other is best for the child.
VICTORIA DINARD
Austintown
Generally speaking, Gjedeserved our Valley very well
EDITOR:
I recently attended the retirement dinner and change of command ceremony for Brig. Gen. Michael F. Gjede. I commend Gen. Gjede for his distinguished career, one unparalleled in my 47-year tenure and association with the Youngstown Air Reserve Station in Vienna, my home.
Under his leadership, the base has flourished with unprecedented growth in facilities and mission capability and has emerged as a leader that other commands seek to emulate. Gjede has set us on a course that gives us the best chance for the continued presence, mission and success of the 910th Airlift Wing in the Mahoning Valley.
I was honored and humbled as I observed the rich heritage and tradition of military protocol reflective of this nation's most cherished values and the sacrifices that have been made by those who gave their today for our tomorrow in the defense of freedom and liberty around the globe.
The integrity and honor of the dedicated men and women who serve in the 910th Airlift Wing are an example of the best of who we are as a country and a people. They are truly the flower of a generation of great Americans. I salute them for their courage.
As the general and his wife, Jerlynn, start a new chapter in their lives, we wish them the blessings of good health and good fortune, and we hope that they have found in our community a home worthy of their journey.
MARK S. FINAMORE
Vienna Township trustee