ANNIE'S MAILBOX Reader had attended boarding school to avoid molestation
Dear Annie: When I was growing up, my stepfather tried to molest me. At the age of 11, I had the chance to go away to boarding school, and I jumped at the opportunity to leave home. After all these years, I never told my mother about the molestation, because I do not believe she has ever been emotionally able to handle it.
My stepbrother, "Andy," died by suicide several years ago, and now some facts have come to light that make me believe my stepfather, Andy's natural father, may also have molested him. I do not know if he touched my stepsister, "Angie," but she now has two young sons that this monster has access to.
Angie counts on my mother to help baby-sit her kids. I am terrified that these children are being violated or soon will be. Even now, on those rare occasions when I see my stepfather, he constantly makes passes at me. I'm concerned that if I disclose the molestation at this point, my family will think I'm a liar and hate me. After all, he is Angie's father and my mother's husband.
I don't know what to do. Angie is expecting a little girl in a few months, and I fear for the baby's safety. Please help me before it is too late. Modesto, Calif.
Dear Modesto: You must take the risk of being considered a liar in order to protect these children. Talk to Angie and explain your fears. Ask if she has noticed anything unusual about the children's reaction to Grandpa. She needs to be alert to any signs that her children are being molested. The children should be told not to let anyone touch them in areas their swimsuits cover, nor should they be asked to touch any adult in the same area. If anyone tries, they should let her know immediately.
Regardless of Angie's reaction to your information, please try to keep an eye on those kids. They need someone to watch out for them.
Dear Annie: "Suffering in Marianna, Fla.," wrote that she is a breast-cancer survivor and that because of it, she can not use soy products.
My wife is also a breast-cancer survivor, and we have never heard before that soy is a forbidden product. Can you please check with your medical advisers whether soy is indeed off-limits for breast-cancer survivors and why? I suspect there are many women in your readership who would like to know. Needham, Mass.
Dear Needham: Actually, soy consumption for breast-cancer survivors is still being researched. While there is some evidence that soy products can help reduce the risk of breast cancer in healthy women, many doctors do not recommend soy products for women with a family history of breast cancer, those with estrogen receptor-positive breast cancers, or those taking the drug tamoxifen.
The reason is that many soy foods are rich in phytoestrogens, which are natural chemicals that act like estrogen. Some researchers believe that phytoestrogens may stimulate cell growth and could lead to a higher risk of breast-cancer recurrence. Until more research is done, it is best to be cautious.
Dear Annie: I recently received an invitation to a bridal shower, and it included a request for the guests to bring stamps. It wasn't until I arrived at the shower that I discovered the stamps were for the thank-you notes the bride would be sending out. Not only that, but the guests also were asked to address their own envelopes. Please tell me that this is not a trend. Riverside, Calif.
Dear Riverside: Wish we could, but unfortunately, we've heard of this one before. It's terribly tacky and makes the bride seem not only lazy, but cheap as well. The good news is, at least you know you'll be getting a thank-you note.
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