WEEK

WEEK
'THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK'
s1/2 Poor Vin Diesel. He's staked his Hollywood career, his future fortune, nay his very right to call himself Vin Diesel (real name, Mark Vincent) on a "Battlestar Galactica" remake. "The Chronicles of Riddick" is a messy, messianic slasher/blaster in the "Matrix Half-Loaded" tradition, all nonsense plot and baroque costumes, sets and special effects. (PG-13) for violence, language; at Austintown Commons 10, Boulevard Centre, Cinema South, Hermitage, Westgate Cinemas.
'GARFIELD: THE MOVIE'
s1/2 The fat cat has gone to the dogs in his very unfunny big-screen debut. The filmmakers' vocal coup -- landing Bill Murray as mouthpiece for droll Garfield, hero of Jim Davis' comic strip -- falls flat amid the banal lines he's given to mew. (PG) for brief mild language; at Austintown Commons 10, Boulevard Centre, Elm Road Drive-In, Hermitage, Tinseltown, Westgate Cinemas. (Review by Associated Press)
'THE STEPFORD WIVES'
ss This remake of the 1975 thriller about robot housewives (here, played for comedy) begins promisingly enough as a fast and funny satire of a lily-white, Lilly Pulitzer existence. And it seems you couldn't go wrong with the cast, which includes Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Glenn Close, Christopher Walken and Bette Midler. Then after about an hour, it takes an abrupt turn to a darker tone, and the last half-hour feels hastily tacked-on. (PG-13) for sexual content, thematic material and language; at Austintown Commons 10, Boulevard Centre, Elm Road Drive-In, Hermitage, Tinseltown, Westgate Cinemas. (Review by Associated Press)
LAST WEEK'S TOP 10
'THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW'
ss1/2 A global warming disaster movie of epic proportions, with Planet Earth rapidly -- and unexpectedly -- entering a new Ice Age. The special effects are cool and convincing, but the plot twists are pure old-school corn. With Dennis Quaid as a paleoclimatologist whose warnings go unheeded -- until it's too late! (PG-13) for world chaos, violence and peril; at Austintown Commons 10, Boulevard Centre, Cinema South, Elm Road Drive-In, Hermitage, Westgate Cinemas.
'HARRY POTTER AND THEPRISONER OF AZKABAN'
sss There are many reasons why "Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban" is the best of the three "Harry Potter" pics to date: It's shorter, it seems less like a theme-park ride and more like a real movie, and its heroes (and several assorted rogues) are beginning to feel familiar, like old friends. (PG) for scares, creatures, violence; at Austintown Commons 10, Boulevard Centre, Hermitage, Tinseltown, Westgate Cinemas.
'MAN ON FIRE'
ss Denzel Washington stars as a bodyguard out for vengeance after his charge -- a precocious, too-cute rich girl -- is kidnapped in Mexico City. Bloody killings and busy camerawork ensue in this over-long, over-stylized, Tony Scott-directed rampage. (R) for violence, profanity, adult themes; at Cinema South.
'MEAN GIRLS'
ss1/2 "Saturday Night Live" writer Tina Fey's "Mean Girls" is alternately intriguing then not, and, like its subject, features a lot of lip gloss and girl-on-girl zingers. And like most contemporary movies, "Mean Girls" -- which reteams Lindsay Lohan with her "Freaky Friday" director, Mark Waters -- has no ending. (PG-13) for sexual content, profanity, skanky dressing; at Cinema South.
'RAISING HELEN'
ss Mostly likeable dramedy starring Kate Hudson as a Manhattan fashionista who relocates to Queens to raise her sister's orphaned children and learns to care as much about making lunches as making the scene. (PG-13) for sexual themes; at Austintown Commons 10, Boulevard Centre, Hermitage, Tinseltown, Westgate Cinemas.
'SHREK 2'
sss1/2 During the course of its 93 galloping minutes, "Shrek 2" carries the standard for self-esteem while spoofing showbiz, fairy tales, self-help books and every other cultural phenom from animal-testing to the Oscars. The movie is a dream, a sequel as exhilarating and riotously funny as 2001's top-grossing original. (PG) for brief drug reference, crude humor, discreet sexual humor; at Austintown Commons 10, Boulevard Centre, Cinema South, Elm Road Drive-In, Hermitage, Westgate Cinemas.
'SOUL PLANE'
ss Just as a broken watch is right twice a day, so a shotgun spoof hits some of its targets as does this raunchy comedy in the "Airplane!" vein that stars Kevin Hart as the brother who founds the first black-owned airlines. With Snoop Dogg and Tom Arnold. (R) for explicit sexual candor, drug jokes; at Tinseltown.
'SUPER SIZE ME'
sss1/2 Fit and hale filmmaker Morgan Spurlock puts himself on a nothing-but-McDonald's diet for an entire month in this very funny and very scary look at America's fast-food culture and the impact it's having on our health -- and on Spurlock's sanity. No MPAA rating; contains foul language and scenes of operating room surgery; not playing here.
'TROY'
sss Rattling around this epic with its commanding performances by Peter O'Toole as Priam and Eric Bana as his warrior son Hector is a bizarre turn by a bronzed Brad Pitt, who plays Achilles as a surfer dude trolling the Aegean for the perfect wave. Directed by Wolfgang Petersen. (R) for graphic violence, discreet nudity, sexual candor; at Austintown Commons 10, Boulevard Centre, Cinema South, Hermitage, Westgate Cinemas.
'VAN HELSING'
s1/2 Hugh Jackman stars as a fearless vampire hunter in this turgid gurgle of cheesy special-effects and monster movie mayhem. From "Mummy" director Stephen Sommers, who attempts to pull off a similar mix of larky humor and eye-popping fantasy adventure. He fails, miserably. (PG-13) for violence, vampirism, monsters; at Boulevard Centre, Tinseltown.
ALSO PLAYING
'CONNIE AND CARLA'
ss1/2 Agreeable farce about unsuccessful dinner-theater divas (Nia Vardalos and Toni Collette) who hide from the mob and find fame posing as male drag queens. From a screenplay by Vardalos. (PG-13) for sexual humor, drug references; at Cinemark.
'DOGVILLE'
ss Lars von Trier's airless allegory about American opportunism stars Nicole Kidman as an outsider rejected by small-town citizens who are only too happy to exploit her labor. (R) for sexual candor, profanity, sexual violence; at Austintown Movies 3.
'ELLA ENCHANTED'
ss At the heart of "Ella Enchanted" is an empowering fairy tale of a teenager who struggles to free herself from bondage to a spell. But the film based on Gail Carson Levine's young-adult charmer is, like its heroine, too eager to please. (PG) for flatulence, nude derriere and crude language; at Cinemark.
'ETERNAL SUNSHINE OFTHE SPOTLESS MIND'
ssss A brilliant, sad, funny, trippy love story from the brain of "Being John Malkovich" writer Charlie Kaufman in which Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet play lovers grappling with painful memories -- and an experimental procedure by which those memories can be erased. Tom Wilkinson, Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood costar. (R) for profanity, sex, drugs; at Austintown Movies 3.
'50 FIRST DATES'
ss1/2 Be warned that although this Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore courtship film announces itself as a romantic comedy, its humor is of the sort that might be found in a case study by neurologist Oliver Sacks. Call it "The Babe Who Mistook Her Beau for a Stalker." (PG-13) for crude humor, marijuana references; at Cinemark.
'HIDALGO'
ss1/2 A Middle East Western starring Viggo Mortensen as cowboy Frank Hopkins who in 1890 entered his mustang in a race across the Sahara. Although Hopkins was a real man, this chapter in his life is a tall tale. With Omar Sharif. (PG-13) for sexual threat, violence; at Cinemark.
'JERSEY GIRL'
ss Kevin Smith casts Ben Affleck as a widower who has to decide between being a good father and a good career man in this unstintingly sentimental would-be weepie. Liv Tyler and cute-as-a-button Raquel Castro co-star. (R) for profanity, sex, adult themes; at Cinemark.
'THE LADYKILLERS'
sss The Coen Brothers mossy remake of the mordant 1955 black comedy about a gang of crooks who can't outwit a virtuous old lady stars Tom Hanks and Irma P. Hall, who rules this movie with a handbag mightier than a scepter. (R) for profanity, cartoon violence, toilet humor; at Cinemark.
'MONSIEUR IBRAHIM'
sss1/2 Omar Sharif and Pierre Boulanger star in this lovely little film about a young teen and an old man who become fast friends in a working-class corner of 1960s Paris. It's a tender story, whisked with nostalgia and wisdom. (R) for sex, profanity, adult themes; at Austintown Movies 3.
'MY ARCHITECT'
ssss Architect Louis Kahn led a triple life and so does this movie about him by his son, Nathaniel, who was 11 when his dad died. Bathing himself in the radiant interiors of his father's buildings, the son finds his father's life force -- and his own. With Frank Gehry, Philip Johnson and I.M. Pei. No MPAA rating but contains mature themes; at Austintown Movies 3.
'STARSKY & amp; HUTCH'
ss1/2 Rest assured: No film was harmed in the making of this animal. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson co-star in this, the second-best film spoof of a '70s TV phenom that, unaccountably, looks better the further you get from it. With Snoop Dogg. (PG-13) for sex and drug references; at Cinemark.
XReviews by Knight Ridder Newspapers unless otherwise stated.