Her fiance has feelings for a co-worker



Dear Annie: A year ago, my fiance and I had the perfect relationship. We work in the same building, and last summer, we bought a house together.
Several months ago, "Clark" developed romantic feelings for a co-worker. I didn't realize what was going on at first, but I was suspicious. When I finally confronted him, Clark admitted wanting to take a "break" from our relationship, saying he needed to sort things out. He has since decided to stay with me.
Clark said nothing physical ever happened between him and his co-worker, but they flirted a lot. Since then, he has apologized numerous times to regain my trust. So what is the problem? Last week, while doing laundry, I found a note in Clark's handwriting that read, "I've tried, but I still have feelings for you."
I was crushed and immediately began packing my things. When Clark came home, I showed him the note. He began to sob and begged me not to leave. Although he apparently never gave his co-worker the note, he told me he hoped she would reject him in some cruel way so that he could get over her.
We are trying to work things out, and Clark has agreed to keep things strictly professional with this co-worker. However, I know there is a risk that he will leave me anyway. I don't trust him anymore, and worse, I worry that he is thinking of her when we are intimate, so I have lost my desire for him. Please help. Lost in California
Dear Lost: Without trust, relationships are easily destroyed. Will Clark go with you for pre-marital couples counseling? A session with an unbiased third party might help clarify the situation -- you can let Clark know why his ambivalence is a problem, and he can be honest about his feelings for the Other Woman. If he still longs for her, you would be better off cutting your losses and getting out now.
Dear Annie: I am a 14-year-old girl, and for two years, I have had problems with excessive sweating under my arms. I recently did some research and found out it is called hyperhidrosis. Could you please tell me more about this disease? Are there any non-surgical solutions? Also, it's so embarrassing that I don't know how to tell my family about my problem. Down in the Pits in Virginia
Dear Virginia: Hyperhidrosis, or excessive sweating, is not a disease. It's a medical condition, and it can be treated. Explain to your parents that you seem to be sweating a great deal more than your friends and you would like them to make a doctor's appointment for you. If the doctor determines that your sweating is unusual, he or she may first recommend a prescription-strength antiperspirant before considering other options.
For more information, please contact The International Hyperhidrosis Society (www.SweatHelp.-org), 18 South 3rd St., Philadelphia, Pa. 19106.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from the woman in Iowa who asked about using gauzy material to block access to the center aisle during a wedding ceremony.
As a retired fire marshal, I am greatly concerned by this practice. It is a violation of most fire codes to block the access to any aisle during an assembly. In an emergency, the guests would be able to use only one half of the exit capacity. If the planner wants to keep the aisle runner clean for the bride and groom, it would be safer to roll it out after the guests have been seated. That doesn't require putting up anything to block the aisles. Hendersonville, N.C.
Dear N.C.: You have made a valid point, although we might mention that flimsy gauze is not going to prevent anyone from traipsing down the center aisle in case of fire. It is more ornamental than practical. But we appreciate the warning.
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