Annie's Mailbox Behavior worries his sister

Dear Annie: I'm 20 years old and live at home with my parents and my 17-year-old brother, "Joe." This past year, Joe admitted trying drugs and skipping school. His grades have dropped, and he lies about everything.
Joe is incredibly smart and has a great deal of potential as an athlete. We've always been so proud of him, but lately, his entire attitude has changed. I used to be able to talk to him, but now, he's rude and doesn't want to have anything to do with the rest of the family.
I know that high school can be difficult and confusing, but I'm worried that Joe could get hurt or possibly mess up his future. My parents and I would do anything for Joe, but he's getting out of control. We are constantly arguing with him and one another. Is there anything I can do to help? I don't want to see him throw his life away. Frustrated Big Sister in Virginia
Dear Frustrated: You sound like a caring and loving sister, but Joe has to be willing to help himself. There are some good organizations for families of teens who are taking drugs. Please contact: Because I Love You (B.I.L.Y.), P.O. Box 2062, Winnetka, Calif. 91396-2062 (becauseiloveyou.org); and Families Anonymous, P.O. Box 3475, Culver City, Calif. 90231-3475, (800) 736-9805 (familiesanonymous.org).
Dear Annie: I was wondering about a possible college relationship situation. There is this girl in one of my classes, and I have gotten to know her a bit. I'd like to ask her out. The only thing is, I am not sure if she has a boyfriend or not.
Would it be inconsiderate to ask her out without knowing if she is currently in a relationship? Thanks for your help. Confused in Michigan
Dear Confused: Go ahead and ask her out. If you were aware of her relationship and asked her out anyway, it would be poor form. However, since you don't know her situation, it is perfectly OK to inquire. If she already is committed to someone else, she will let you know, but she will most likely be flattered by your interest. (And if her current relationship should break up, she will undoubtedly remember that you asked.) Good luck.
Dear Annie: I recently became engaged, and the wedding is scheduled for the fall. This is a truly exciting time for me.
Here's the problem: Three years ago, I was talking to my friend, "Jan." During the course of the conversation, we discussed future weddings. I said if I were ever to marry, I would like her to be my bridesmaid. Unfortunately, since that conversation took place, Jan and I had a falling out. I have discovered that she is a jealous and annoying person who rarely has anything positive to say about anyone. I genuinely dislike her now. Since I discovered her true colors, I rarely speak to her. I screen her calls and never respond to her e-mails.
Last week, Jan sent me a card congratulating me on my engagement. In it, she mentioned how excited she was to be in the wedding party. Is there a tactful way to tell her that I have changed my mind and no longer want her to stand up for me? Counsel in Need of Counsel
Dear Counsel: Since you dislike Jan anyway, you don't have much to lose here. Simply give her a polite version of the truth. Say, "Thank you so much for your card. I hope you won't be terribly offended, but as you know, we've become rather distant these past few years, and I've decided that my bridesmaids should be only close friends and relatives. I'm sure you will understand."
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