Make sure loved one's caregiver is doing the job

Dear Annie: I am a private caregiver, and my clients are wonderful. One of my clients is in a very upscale senior retirement home. In the past year, I've become aware of another caregiver who is not doing her job. This woman leaves her client alone for hours while she goes off and does her own thing. Once, while the caregiver was away, her client fell and sustained a serious injury to her back. The caregiver lied to the client's family and said it was a simple accident.
This caregiver is self-employed and answers to no one. Please, Annie, remind people to check things out thoroughly when something happens to a loved one and to make sure the caregiver is doing his or her job. I see what really goes on, but my hands are tied. Thank you. Anonymous in Bellevue, Wash.
Dear Bellevue: Untie your hands and help this woman. Talk to an administrator at the retirement home. It is very likely that the home faces some liability if the woman falls "by accident" too many times. Your name does not have to be mentioned for the staff to alert the family to investigate the circumstances of the fall more thoroughly.
Also, every state has an ombudsman program where you can lodge complaints anonymously. Check with your local county Area Agency on Aging or the Eldercare locator hotline at (800) 677-1116 (eldercare.gov).
Dear Annie: This is in response to "C.A.," whose husband had a cell phone affair. It was not until after my husband of 15 years filed for divorce that I discovered the extent of his cell-phone and text-messaging affair. He always paid our cell phone bills, and I never had any reason to check them. He had a dispute with the phone company, and when a copy of the invoice came, I saw it.
In one month, he called this woman 70 times on her cell phone and 22 times at work. My husband said she was just a friend. Do I have "stupid" written on my forehead? I do not call my best friend this many times in one month.
I, too, would like to know if this is becoming a trend. What type of person has an affair like this when it destroys families? Heidi
Dear Heidi: The same type of person who has an affair without the cell phone. New technology has certainly made it easier to sneak around. Here's one more:
Dear Annie: My husband got a cell phone, claiming he needed it for work. He was soon having an affair. I found out when his girlfriend called our home to tell me she has hepatitis. I was tested, and we have not had sex since. She called me last month, crying and complaining that he had dumped her for someone else and wanted me to give her the other woman's name and address.
I want to stay married, so I have built myself a life that doesn't include my husband, and frankly, I am pretty content. If I plan a family get-together, I let him know, and he shows up. When I retire, I plan to travel without him. Single Wife
Dear Wife: Not everyone would want an arrangement like yours, but we're glad it works for you.
Dear Annie: I have difficulty remembering directions. I take the wrong turn no matter where I go or how many times I've been there. My friends and family think I'm crazy, always asking how to get everywhere. Can you help? Lost in the USA
Dear Lost: This usually is a visual-spatial problem. Some people have great difficulty picturing where they are in relation to where they need to be. If you can't manage simple maps or diagrams, we recommend a compass or, if you can afford it, a Global Positioning System. They can be real lifesavers.
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