MOVIE REVIEW \ 'Thunderbirds' Big-screen version doesn't impress

Most of the movie is a boring island chase.
By GARY DOWELL
DALLAS MORNING NEWS
"Thunderbirds" is a visually impressive but largely lifeless, limp noodle that strips away the details that made the 1960s TV series work and features a bland coming-of-age story and a by-the-numbers revenge plot.
Gerry Anderson's animated series for kids was ambitious and intelligent. It featured wealthy ex-astronaut Jeff Tracy and his five sons, the founders of International Rescue, who saved people from aliens, terrorists and natural disasters by using super-vehicles dubbed Thunderbirds. For added kitsch, the series featured a cast of marionettes and elaborate miniature sets and props.
As the live-action movie opens, Jeff Tracy (Bill Paxton) and his four oldest sons are rescuing oil-rig workers from a fire. Meanwhile, youngest son Alan (Brady Corbet) and his pal Fermat (Soren Fulton) -- the son of International Rescue's genius engineer Brains (Anthony Edwards) -- languish in boarding school, waiting for the day they, too, can become full-fledged members of the team. Alan is petulant and a wee bit self-centered -- you know, a teenager.
Action begins
While the kids are home on Thunderbird Island for spring break, the villainous Hood (Ben Kingsley) sabotages the Thunderbird 5 space station and strands Jeff and all the Tracy boys but Alan in space. Hood wants to use the fabulous Thunderbird vehicles for a bank heist and let International Rescue take the fall. Alan, of course, sees an opportunity to save the day and win the respect of his family.
From that point on, we're stuck mainly with the kids as they try to save the day. But this is a big part of the problem. Watching the Hood's goons chase the good guys willy-nilly around a tropical island for the better part of 45 minutes, while the other Tracys twiddle their thumbs in space, gets really boring really quickly. When some excitement finally arrives during the final reel, it's too late make up for the earlier tedium.
Roles and acting
The young actors are fine, but their roles are written in such broad, banal strokes that the characters come across as annoying. They're the human equivalent of sand in your underpants. Obligatory love interest Tintin (Vanessa Anne Hudgens) is forgettable; Fermat is a best forgotten stock nerd know-it-all; and Corbet is fine as the eager-to-be-taken seriously Alan, but he's such a twerp that it's tempting to root for the bad guys, if only to see Alan get a good smack.
The rest of the cast is more wooden than their marionette counterparts, especially the Tracy boys, all interchangeable, clean-cut, preppy clones stuck in one-dimensional roles. Paxton is so low key that you wonder whether he was sedated on the set. Sophia Myles adequately channels the spirit of stylish British secret agent Lady Penelope, but it's Kingsley who manages to walk away without a scratch. He's bigger than this kind of movie. He also has large bills to pay, apparently.