She quit her job after two years of bullying

Dear Annie: I just left my job of 16 years after being bullied by two female coworkers for two years. I had items thrown at me, doors slammed in my face, shoulders "accidentally" smacked into mine as they walked by, and all my personal items rearranged while I was sick at home.
The leader of these bullies is in her late 50s, and the other one is over 40. I cannot understand why anyone would want to make the workplace so miserable. I tried turning the other cheek, but when my blood pressure became dangerously elevated, and my blood sugar dropped me into unconsciousness on several occasions, I decided I'd had enough and retired -- much sooner than I had planned.
I gave up a nice pension in order to get out with my health and sanity intact. There were at least two written complaints filed and countless verbal complaints made to management, with no results.
I have found new employment, thank goodness, but my question is, how do I recover emotionally from this bullying, and should I go after this large bureaucracy legally for ignoring my pleas for intervention? I am not sure that I am strong enough emotionally for a long, legal battle, but I hate to see them get away with this abuse. Ex-Law Enforcement Civilian in Sacramento, Calif.
Dear Sacramento: Are these juvenile women still in grade school? No one should have to suffer bullies in the workplace. Ask your doctor to refer you to a counselor who will help manage your stress levels, and then talk to a lawyer. These women need to know their behavior is not acceptable. Even if you are unable to handle a legal battle, the mere threat of a lawsuit is often enough to get results.
Dear Annie: A few months ago, I celebrated my 19th birthday by inviting a dozen or so people out to dinner. I discussed it with a few close friends, and we decided that everyone would buy their own meal. I chose a nicer restaurant than we would usually go to, but it wasn't terribly expensive.
I enjoy your column and know that you feel it is inappropriate to invite people out and then hand them a check. And I agree. I would never dream of doing that for my parents' anniversary party, my sister's bridal shower or a formal party of my own. But we are all college students, and none of us can afford to treat the others. I bought everyone appetizers and supplied the dessert at the end of the evening, but I still wonder if it was enough.
Was I an inconsiderate hostess, or was it appropriate given the age group and the casualness of the affair? Seeking Your Approval in Dallas
Dear Dallas: Here's the way it works -- you don't surprise your guests with an invoice. If they know beforehand that they each will be picking up their own tab, and they agree with the venue you have chosen, it is perfectly OK to split the bill. Of course, you don't issue the invitation by saying, "Be my guest," which implies that you are treating. Instead, ask if they would like to get together with you and some other friends to celebrate your birthday, and make it clear that there will be separate checks. (P.S.: Springing for the appetizers and dessert was a class act.)
Dear Annie: My best friend is getting a divorce. Her heart is broken, and I know I cannot fix it, but I don't have any idea what to tell her. I want to be able to help. Any advice? Need Advice to Give Advice
Dear Need Advice: Yes -- don't offer advice. She needs a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen. Call her often. Invite her out. Make her laugh. Be a friend.
Creators Syndicate
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