He may not realize he's intruding

Dear Annie: I am unsure how to address this, but here goes. My husband's best friend, "Judd," is divorced and will be joining us at the beach for our annual vacation.
Judd has been doing this for the past four years. Once, he even stayed in our condo for four days and slept on the sofa. We had no privacy. Since then, Judd has found his own accommodations. I have told my husband I would rather not share our once-a-year vacation with Judd, but he replied, "I can't help it if Judd comes to the beach when we're there." Then he got very angry with me.
While I don't mind my husband sharing time with Judd, I resent him taking along a friend on a vacation I help pay for and want to enjoy with my husband. Am I being a shrew to object? Should I just grin and bear it and maybe take a vacation by myself next year? Tired of His Playmate Tagging Along
Dear Tired: Judd must be plenty lonely. Do you have any single friends you can match him up with? If he had a social life of his own, he would be less of an annoyance to you. The problem, of course, is that he's been intruding on your vacations for four years and is under the impression that you don't mind. We suspect your husband doesn't know how to extricate himself without hurting Judd's feelings.
The two of you should have a heart-to-heart with Judd and together explain that you'd like some romantic time alone this year. If your husband refuses to do this, you may have a different problem -- one that requires professional help.
Dear Annie: I have been diagnosed with TMD (temporomandibular disorder), but neither my dentist nor doctor thinks anything can be done for me. I have severe pain in my jaw, and I also get headaches. It hurts every time I try to eat. I wore a mouth guard at night for two years, but it didn't help, so my dentist scrapped it. I am not getting enough sleep, and I'm desperate for relief.
Both doctors told me to take ibuprofen, but it isn't touching the agonizing pain. Is there any help for me? K.B.
Dear K.B.: TMD, or TMJ, a disorder of the jaw muscles, is often temporary, and therefore, doctors are reluctant to suggest anything drastic. They usually recommend soft foods, heat or ice packs, no wide yawning, loud singing or gum chewing, and an anti-inflammatory (such as ibuprofen). If the pain doesn't go away, your dentist may recommend direct injections of pain relievers or even surgery, but there is no guarantee it will help, and it sometimes makes things worse.
Two years is a long time. Ask your doctor and dentist about physical therapy, jaw exercises, stress-reduction techniques and a stronger pain reliever. Good luck.
Dear Annie: My friend, "Susan," was married a year ago. In her honor, I attended an engagement party, where guests were asked to bring a bottle of liquor; a couples' shower, where we were asked to contribute to the honeymoon; and the wedding, where Susan made it clear that she wanted cash gifts (I gave them a check).
I found it somewhat distasteful that I was told what gifts to give, but I tried to be understanding of the new couple as they started out. However, what I really find offensive is I have yet to receive one thank-you note for any of the gifts I have given.
Susan is now expecting, and I'm invited to the baby shower. I have no desire to attend or give her another unacknowledged gift. Am I wrong? Offended in Ohio
Dear Offended: You are right, although shower gifts do not require a thank-you note if the gift is opened at the party and the giver thanked verbally at the time. Otherwise, the way to needle Susan politely is to phone and say, "Did you ever receive my gift? I want to be sure it wasn't misplaced." (And it might have been.)
Creators Syndicate
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