She disconnects with phone sex
Dear Annie: I am a young female college student who has been seeing "Pete" exclusively for two years. We have a wonderful relationship.
Here's the problem: We have been sexually active for six months. The decision for us to consummate our relationship was one of mutual love and respect. However, we are currently attending schools about three hours apart, and we are unable to be together in order to make love more than once or twice a month.
I guess I don't have much of a sex drive, because this is fine for me. Pete is the exact opposite. He has asked that we engage in phone sex to help relieve the pressure of having to wait. I don't mind doing this once in a while, but he wants it more often, and this makes me uncomfortable. Pete has never directly pressured me, but he claims that after several days of having to contain his desires, it becomes physically painful. I certainly don't want him to suffer, but I don't know how to solve this problem in a mutually respectful way.
We have tried several times to come up with a compromise but haven't found one we both like. Do you have any suggestions? Wisconsin Coed
Dear Wisconsin: If phone sex makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't feel obligated to do it. It's up to Pete to find an acceptable alternative outlet for those times when you aren't in the mood. "Acceptable" means it does not involve other women. (What on earth does he think men did before phone sex, for heaven's sake?)
Keep in mind that incompatible sex drives can be a serious problem in a relationship. If you and Pete should decide to marry, you will need to resolve this.
Dear Annie: My boyfriend of five years (I'll call him "Sam") has a son who is getting married in a couple of weeks. The invitation reads, "Sam Smith and Guest." His children know we're living together. Why isn't my name on the invitation, too? Worse, I am apparently going to be seated as any other guest. My boyfriend will be escorting his mother. Shouldn't we have been allowed to walk down together?
This whole thing is like a big slap in the face. Sam won't say anything, but I'd like them to know how hurtful their actions have been. Should I say so? And Guest
Dear Guest: Please don't. We agree they should have included your name on the invitation, but it's possible they are unfamiliar with the rules of etiquette. You are wrong, however, about being escorted down the aisle by your boyfriend. You are not the groom's mother, and you have no official position at this wedding. You are a guest -- nothing more. Instead of looking for reasons to be hurt and offended, use this as an opportunity to show Sam's family how gracious you can be.
Dear Annie: I am a city letter carrier and often have to help out on unfamiliar mail routes. Trying to find house numbers can be very difficult. Some houses have no numbers, other numbers are in strange places, painted over or hidden by rosebushes.
This is inconvenient for me, but it can be disastrous if a firetruck or ambulance is trying to find your house in a hurry.
Please tell your readers to have their house numbers visible from the street, in an obvious place, and illuminated at night. Reflective numbers on a curbside mailbox work well, too. Concerned Letter Carrier
Dear Concerned: Thanks for the warning. If you call 911 in the middle of the night, you'd better hope your house numbers are visible. Those few extra moments can make the difference between rescue and tragedy. Your local hardware store should carry large numerals. Install them over your front door, garage or curbside mailbox, visible from the street and lit up at night.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Creators Syndicate
Copyright 2004 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
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