To clobber clutter, take steps



The name of the group is comical -- Messies Anonymous. And the truth is, their meetings are upbeat. There's a lot of laughter and teasing. They make fun of themselves.
But underneath it all is a problem. They meet at 7 p.m. the second Thursday of each month, sharing only their first names (and not even those with you or me -- the names herein are pseudonyms), to "get better organized." They are a local group, directed by a national "Messies Anonymous" organization, which bases itself on the anything-but-comical Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program. Some of these women really want to change.
They don't want papers strewn about their homes, or garage sale "finds" stacked in closets, or piles of magazines forming on tabletops. At least one considers herself a "hoarder."
"A messy is somebody with too much junk," Clare said. "You just don't want people to visit your house. For most of us, it's newspapers and magazines."
Our local group is one of many throughout the country. The concept is the brainchild of national author Sandra Felton, who has written more than a dozen books for messies, one of which inspired the local group to form.
"I started getting Felton's newsletter. ... I called her and asked how to form a group," said Beth. Since then, the group advertises their meetings in newspapers at Niles' Pleasant Valley Church.
Their struggle
The interesting thing you will notice if you attend is that the attendees both condemn and defend their messiness. Listen in on this typical exchange:
Sue: "I recycle papers every two weeks, but I have magazines stacked everywhere because I don't have time to read them. I want the knowledge I can find in them."
Clare: "I see it as a problem."
Sue: "I do too ... but I see myself as a subterranian librarian."
Clare puts it in a nutshell: "We say we want to change, but we're fighting it."
It's tough when life sends positive reinforcement ... like the "plastic sleeves" Sarah had "just when she needed them" because she had refused to toss them out. In fact, many of the women argue they are afraid to throw things out because they might need them "the next day."
"I'll tell you what I think it is for me; it's the Depression mentality my parents had. I have too much stuff and don't know how to part with it. A lot of videos, books, clothes," Terry said.
Another women explained, "As a kid, I was the other extreme. Everything had to be just so. We had enough, but no kid has enough toys or clothes. ... When I could afford it, I bought it."
Some of the participants have been coming for three years; the newest joined two months ago. Although men are welcome, about a dozen women are the current participants.
As they work through their twelve-step agenda, they share their thoughts.
"People who are not clutterers don't have all this crap laying around. They have one thing on a table where I have twelve. If they don't need it, they get rid of it," one said.
"Or they don't get it to begin with," another added.
"But some things are given to you. They are ... sentimental."
"Then there are people who throw everything away and don't have it when they need it."
There's that defense mechanism. ...
One member has tucked away articles she has not had time to read. They are clipped and filed, just in case a need for the information arises, like "What to do if you get a beesting."
An overwhelming job
Sometimes it's simply that the idea of organizing is too overwhelming. "I look at the big picture instead of breaking it down into doable parts," Mary said. "Like Sunday. I saw all that I had to do and I was depressed."
But they are making progress. One technique is to gather up the finds and throw away half, which one member did after buying a thousand greeting cards for $10 at a garage sale.
Liz had another tip. "It's the getting started. I think that's the hardest. I am starting to write down everything I want to do and everything I get done so I know I'm doing something."
If you think you might be a messy who wants support, you can get more information via (330) 544-4846.
murphy@vindy.com

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