KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Baby's comfort comes before old biddy's hangups

Dear Annie: I read the letter in The Charlotte, N.C., Observer from "Denver Aunt," who attended a baby shower and was offended that the mother and some of the other guests displayed their breasts while feeding their babies.
The hungry baby is a guest at the party, too. Its physical comfort is more important than the psychological hangups of some old biddy. Would you cover your head with a blanket while you ate? Why should I hide when I breast-feed my baby? It is not shameful. It is natural and healthy. That's the reason we have breasts. If it makes anybody uncomfortable, they can put a blanket on their own head. R.B.
Dear R.B.: We expected to hear from the Militant Mommy Brigade, and we weren't disappointed. Let's get a few things straight. No one is debating the importance of breast-feeding or the occasional need to do it in a public place. We are all in favor of that. The problem is displaying one's breasts while doing so. Like it or not, in our culture, female breasts serve more than one function, and exposing them is considered exhibitionism.
There are other natural, even beautiful, functions that we do not do in public. Hungry babies don't have a preference for dining al fresco. With all the wonderful tops available for nursing mothers, it is easy to be discreet.
Demonstrating consideration for the sensitivities of others is something every mother should want to teach her child. Our advice stands.
Dear Annie: My son is getting married soon. The question is, do we send a shower or wedding invitation to my mother-in-law, who is in the late stages of Alzheimer's?
Mom is currently living in a nursing home. Her memory is gone, and she does not recognize anyone, nor does she understand simple things. She will not be able to make the long trip to the wedding. Prior to Mom's decline, she was concerned about missing my son's wedding and wanted to be sure we sent her an invitation.
I believe it is OK to do this, even now, because Mom expressed a desire to acknowledge their happy union. However, some family members feel that since she cannot travel and she doesn't know what is going on, an invitation would be improper. What is the right thing for this delicate situation? Houston Gal
Dear Houston: By all means, send Mom an invitation. It doesn't matter that she may not understand its significance or cannot attend. It matters only that you are thinking of her and want to include her in whatever small way possible.
Dear Annie: I baby-sit for several families on my block. I love all the children, but there's one problem. I don't get paid very well. No matter how many children I'm taking care of, I make only $5 an hour.
I have a cell-phone bill to pay, and I need a better income. Is it unreasonable to ask for a $2-per-hour raise when baby-sitting three or more children? How do I ask politely without sounding demanding? Poor Baby Sitter in USA
Dear Baby Sitter: A raise is not at all unreasonable. In some cities, baby sitters are paid twice your rate, and more for multiple children. However, we don't know what the going rate is in your town. Ask some of your friends what they charge so you will know how much to ask for.
Taking care of several kids, especially if they need to be fed, bathed or entertained, is a big job. Tell the parents, "I love baby-sitting for your children, but my rates are going up." If they value your services, they won't object to the increase.
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