KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox There may be additional costs for prepaid funeral

Dear Annie: Eight years ago, my mother went to a local funeral home in our town and made her own funeral arrangements. She signed all the necessary forms, paid the bill and happily conveyed to her children that she had taken care of her funeral so that when the time came, we would not have to worry.
Mother died three months ago, but when I went to the funeral home, I was informed that there was an additional cost of $2,600 to have the funeral Mom requested. I also was charged another $1,500 to get my mother the casket she originally chose. We were told the one she ordered had a velvet lining, but they offered to lower the price if we settled for the crepe lining. The total bill was an increase of 69 percent over Mom's original costs. Apparently, this is quite common.
Someone needs to publicize this scam because many elderly folks have prepaid funerals. At the moment, I am waiting to see a copy of Mom's original detailed list of what she paid for and the prices. What do you think about all of this? B.S.
Dear B.S.: Unfortunately, prepaying for a funeral does not necessarily protect your loved ones from increased costs. Most prepayment plans are perfectly legit, but it is not unknown for unscrupulous funeral home owners to jack up the prices when you are most vulnerable. It helps to check with the Better Business Bureau and the National Funeral Directors Association before considering such a plan.
Lawyers recommend that people who want to set money aside for a funeral put the funds in a bank account set up for that purpose. If you have specific instructions in mind, such as the type of music you want played, and so on, put them in writing, and give copies to your family members and the executor of your estate. (Don't leave these instructions in the will. The will isn't read until the funeral is over.)
Dear Annie: My fiance, "Charlie," and I had our first child a month ago. His mother came to visit the week after our son was born. While here, we showed her a sample of the birth announcement.
A few days before we were ready to send them out, we received a birth announcement from Charlie's mother announcing our child's birth. She had sent it to all of Charlie's relatives.
We are extremely angry, and his mother cannot understand why. We feel it was our right to have been the ones to announce the birth. Are we wrong, or did she overstep her boundaries? Angry New Parents in Ohio
Dear New Parents: Sending out baby announcements is generally the prerogative of the new parents, and we can certainly understand why you are so angry. However, some grandparents also send out announcements to their own friends and family members who might not receive one from the parents. Charlie's mother should have checked with you first, but try not to hold it against her. And by all means, send your own announcements regardless.
Dear Annie: I read the response from "Responsible Gun Owner in Connecticut," whose letter was quite disturbing. He practically threatened anyone who didn't like guns.
I certainly hope he is more responsible with his gun than he is with his words. Comments like that (even in jest) are upsetting and in poor taste. I, too, am from Connecticut and want everyone to know that we are not all like him. Responsible Comment User in Connecticut
Dear Connecticut: Most people are not like him. Thank heavens.
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