WARREN Seniors and sexuality

Seniors say they are doing just fine.
By STEPHEN SIFF
VINDICATOR TRUMBULL STAFF
WARREN -- You don't learn everything about sex in school.
At a seminar on "sensuous seniors," the impeccably qualified Ralph Hoffman, an occupational therapist at St. Joseph Health Center, told a white-haired lunchtime crowd at SCOPE senior center some of the basics of human sexuality:
UMen desire love to get sex, women desire sex to get love.
(A woman in the first row shook her head vigorously in disagreement.)
UOlder women take a few minutes longer to get sexually aroused.
(Peals of laughter from the back row.)
UMen want women to be more sexually forward.
No one raised their hand when Hoffman asked the group of more than a dozen senior citizens if they felt they were too old to have sex.
Before the presentation began, he had to decline an offer from one gentleman, a 71-year old retired electrician, to help in any demonstrations.
'Never too old'
"You are never too old to engage in sexual gratification," Hoffman, also an assistant professor at Clarion (Pa.) University, told the crowd.
On this point, no one disagreed.
"With health problems and the side effects of medicine it is not always smooth, but we get along," said Jessie Hadin, 70, who came to the seminar with Bill, her husband of 55 years.
Bill, 77, agreed.
The central message of Hoffman's talk was that many sexual problems are psychological, not physical, in nature. By learning not to be self-critical, and letting go of stereotypes and TV images, seniors can continue to enjoy their bodies and each other, he said.
"What I challenge you to do is seek out a partner to experiment, and enjoy," he said.
Sachiko Bennette, 66, immediately mentioned she is married, but offered to take phone numbers to match up available singles.
"I know a lot of women," she said.
After the seminar, Hoffman confided that some of the conventional wisdom he shared doesn't seem quite true. Although men are supposed to be more concerned about sex, it seems that women were the ones asking all the questions.
"Men say they want women to be more aggressive," he said. "I think they actually are."