DIANE MAKAR MURPHY Hospice volunteers are a godsend in a patient's last days

"God bless the caregivers of our world with strength, courage and love." Those are the words on Day 37 of my Daily Word book. They make me think of Hospice.
I didn't use Hospice like most people do -- during the last six months of a loved one's life. I used it in just the last four days of my mom's life. That was all. But, as Kathy Gordon, Hospice of the Valley director of volunteers, said, "If you could experience wonders in three or four days, imagine what Hospice could do in three or four months."
I called Hospice of the Valley very near to the end of my mother's life because, quite frankly, before then, I didn't think I was going to need it. My mother was already being well cared for. She was at Sunrise Assisted Living for her last year of life. The caregivers in the Reminiscence Wing treated her with love.
But, as was common with her disease, progressive supranuclear palsy, she stopped eating. Then, suddenly, from one day to the next, I didn't know what to do. Her living will said no feeding tube, so now what? Her lips were dry. She couldn't swallow food. Even water wasn't going in! I thought of Hospice.
Immediate help
The Hospice nurse arrived almost immediately. She saw what I saw. My mother was pale and weak and excruciatingly thin. "How on earth can she make anything happen in time to make a difference?" I thought. We are just too close to the end.
But, seeing the state of my mother, the nurse made the wheels turn faster than I ever had a right to hope for. "Would you like an adjustable bed to make your mother more comfortable?" she asked. My mother's mattress was on the floor to prevent her from falling out of bed.
Shortly after, the bed arrived and was moved into her room. It was not only adjustable, but it had an electric air cushion to make my mom more comfortable.
By the time my family arrived from Cleveland to say goodbye, a social worker and a minister had been called in by Hospice. The minister prayed with my mother. The social worker held my father's hand while he cried.
When my mom passed on in the wee hours of New Year's Day, it was Hospice that called me and arranged for the funeral director to get my mother. I had nothing to do but grieve. ...
For months afterward, literature about the grieving process, uplifting messages and notices of support groups arrived from Hospice.
The role of volunteers
I can't say enough good things about them, and we didn't even scratch the surface of what the nonprofit organization offers. What we didn't benefit from were the wonderful Hospice patient and family volunteers who typically brighten the last days of a person's life and alleviate some of the burden from caregivers.
These volunteers may run errands, do chores, provide respite for caregivers or just provide companionship, Gordon said. "We have amazing volunteers. It is a labor of love."
In April, another training session begins for those interested in becoming patient and family volunteers. "Anyone who has been especially blessed in their lifetime or has been a caregiver who was helped by Hospice and wants to give back may want to volunteer with us," Gordon suggested. Volunteers are frequently the surviving family members of patients assisted by Hospice.
An attempt is made to assign volunteers close to home. "People give three or four hours once a week," she said, "but even that is negotiable."
Sign-ups for the April session extend through March. The classes will be Thursday mornings for six weeks.
For more information, call Kathy Gordon at (330) 788-1992 for an application. And if you do volunteer, remember, there will be several people you have blessed who will be blessing you.
murphy@vindy.com