ANNIE'S MAILBOX Reader says 'Fed Up' should keep trying

Dear Annie: I'm writing in response to "Fed Up with Mama Drama," who said his ex-wife was malicious and immature, and interfered with his visits with his 3-year-old daughter. He said there were incessant court dates, telephone calls to the police and that the mother taught his daughter to call him "Bad Daddy." He wrote that not all fathers are deadbeats, but he had no choice except to back away. He wished, through your column, to inform the little girl that he misses and loves her.
Annie, that little girl is 3 years old. She won't be reading that column any time soon. Thank you for telling him that he should have the courage and conviction to put forth all the effort required to let his daughter know he cares.
His letter described almost exactly my own experience. I'm 17 now and barely managing to patch things up with my own father. Dad did not have the tenacity or commitment to work things out. "Fed Up" needs to realize that if he doesn't keep trying, his daughter might very well grow up to resent him for not being around, for not being there all the times she needs him. Counseling after the fact will do little to change all the years he will miss. Been There, Done That in Indiana
Dear Indiana: Many readers wanted that father to do whatever necessary in order to see his daughter. Here's more:
From California: "Fed Up" needs to swallow his pride and be there for his daughter. My own mother is a drama queen, and I thank God my father put up with her after their divorce. I was only 2, but by the time I was 7, my father's house was a welcome sanity break and quiet refuge. My father was my knight in shining armor. If the ex-wife is torturing him, imagine what that little 3-year-old has to live with. Please give her a place where she can be loved and not manipulated.
New York: This would appear to be a classic case of "Parental Alienation Syndrome," where one parent turns the child against the other. Calling the police when he doesn't agree to her demands is harassment, plain and simple. Interruptions of the father's court-ordered visitation time is illegal. This guy needs to fire whatever wimpy excuse of a lawyer he currently has, and hire himself a pit bull who is willing to do whatever is necessary to remove that child from a blatantly hostile environment. That father should demand a court-ordered psychological profile for both parents, which will bring out the emotional abuse this woman is subjecting her child to and will establish which parent should be raising that little girl.
Manhattan: My daughter was 5 when we separated; my son was 2. I braved much traffic, financial dilemmas, cramped apartments and unreturned phone calls to see them every other weekend without fail. Ten years later, my 15-year-old daughter lives with me and is an adoring, sweet kid. My son is still with Mom, but is crazy about me, also. Hang in there.
Chicago: My mother behaved terribly toward my dad, who kept sending money, making phone calls and coming to see me regardless. Soon, I began to wonder why this man cared so much about me if he was as evil as my mother said. I hope "Fed Up" sticks around to make sure his daughter does not suffer at the hands of this seemingly psychotic woman. My mother began to abuse me emotionally and physically when I started to form my own opinions, and I was very afraid of her. Fortunately, I had my dad to turn to, and I eventually moved in with him to escape my mother. If he hadn't been around, I don't know where I would be now. Please tell him his daughter needs him.
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