JOHN ROSEMOND | Parenting To help kids clean up, try toy library idea

Q. When it's time for my two children, ages 42 and 24 months, to clean up their play messes, they frequently don't do as I've asked, and I can't figure out what the consequence should be. I've tried punishing both, but nothing I have tried has any effect on the 2-year-old. Meanwhile, the 3-year-old complains that his younger sister never picks up anything, which is correct. Under the circumstances, I feel bad punishing him. Any suggestions?
A. The problem with getting young children to pick up their toys has to do with quantity. Specifically, the sheer number of toys involved is usually daunting. In 1950, when I was 3, I had no problem picking up my toys because I didn't have more than three, which was fairly typical for that day and time. Today's typical 3-year-old has in excess of 100 toys! Naturally, this embarrassment of riches leads to play that is disorganized and which results, almost invariably, in a big mess.
Cleaning up should be easy for a child this age. If it isn't, the child is going to make every attempt to avoid doing so. The obvious solution is to buy young children very few toys. I happen to feel that less than 10 toys, selected for their creative value, is optimum. More than 10 toys and the problems begin. I've been preaching this "less is more" toy philosophy for most of my professional life, and those parents who have adopted it have never failed to praise the results.
Regardless of how many toys your children have, give them access to no more than five. Keep the rest in a "toy library" over which you have complete control. In order to check a toy out of the toy library, one of the children must turn a toy in. This means that they will never have access to more than five toys at a time, a number that should present no problems when it comes time to pick up and put away.
XJohn Rosemond is a family psychologist. Questions of general interest may be sent to him at Affirmative Parenting, 1020 East 86th Street, Suite 26B, Indianapolis, Ind. 46240 and at his Web site: http://www.rosemond.com/.