ANNIE'S MAILBOX She fears sister-in-law may be harming herself

Dear Annie: My smart, pretty, college-educated sister-in-law is a veteran of almost 20 major orthopedic surgeries. It started when "Nadia" was in a freak accident as a teenager. Since then, there's been one medical crisis after another, each requiring surgery. The entire family, especially my mother-in-law, puts everything on hold to help with Nadia's recovery and rehabilitation process.
Despite all these surgeries, Nadia seems to be getting worse. Her cases are always complicated and slightly mysterious. The doctors can't quite figure out what's wrong or why her condition hasn't improved.
I'm sorry to say, I think Nadia has become addicted to the powerful drugs she is given in the hospital. I am starting to believe she is injuring herself intentionally and compromising her recovery, so she can be admitted to the hospital to have more surgery and get more prescription pain and sleeping medication.
Should I share my suspicions with her doctors, even though other family members think I'm wrong? I dearl3y love Nadia and want her to get better. At the same time, I resent her putting our family through this over and over, especially her elderly parents. What should I do? Sister-in-Law in Iowa
Dear Iowa: If Nadia is returning to the same doctors, at the same hospital, they already should be suspicious of her condition. Twenty "mysterious" surgeries since she was a teenager would ring alarm bells for anyone. Nadia may not be injuring herself or looking for painkillers, but something definitely is not right.
Talk to your husband and the other family members. Express your concern again, and ask them to discuss it with Nadia's physician. If they truly want her to get better, they should explore all possibilities -- even the unpleasant ones.
Dear Annie: I am "Torn in the Midwest," whose stepson, "Logan," molested my 10-year-old daughter. I want to thank you for printing my letter and the responses to it. I only wish things could have ended better. Unfortunately, our family has been torn apart.
My husband and I can no longer be together. The court decided that Logan cannot see my daughter again. In addition, the boy cannot live with his mother because she also has a young daughter. My husband has moved out in order to give Logan a place to live.
My daughter loves her stepbrother and talks about him frequently. I can never hear the sound of their laughing together or share a holiday with my entire family again. All of us have been receiving counseling from the very beginning. Now we have to accept the choices the court has made and go on. Torn in the Midwest
Dear Torn: Our hearts are breaking for you, but evidently, the court has acted in a way it considers best for your daughter. It's good the family has been in counseling, and we hope it will be especially beneficial for Logan and his stepsister. While we know the current situation is difficult, there is always the possibility that your daughter will choose to keep Logan in her life when she is older, and if so, your family can be together again.
Dear Annie: Why do I have to sit through commercials before the movie previews at my local theater? With ticket prices around $10, I do not care to see commercials for shoes, candy, make-up and cars. Is there any hope? Commercial Free in Southern California
Dear C.F.: Probably not. Commercials bring in money. Your only alternative is to rent the video or DVD, or wait until the movie comes out on commercial-free cable.
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