KATHY MITCHELL & amp; MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox 'Calvin' may already be addicted to the smoking habit

Dear Annie: My husband and I are the parents of three boys. For the most part, they are all very charming children. However, it is the behavior of our 13-year-old that is causing us fits.
Six months ago, "Calvin" was caught smoking with a friend after school. My husband was furious and laid down the law. He also notified the parents of the friend, but the mother's response was, "Kids will be kids." We thought things were improving, but last week, we found out Calvin was smoking again.
My husband and I both work, so Calvin is supposed to go to a neighbor's home after school. Instead, he's been stopping off at various friends' houses. We have never met these friends.
We have taken away all of Calvin's privileges. He no longer has a TV, VCR, videogame player or radio in his room. He is not allowed to leave our yard and most definitely is not allowed at any of these friends' houses. Still, the smoking hasn't stopped.
What can we do? C.C. Out West
Dear C.C.: If Calvin has been smoking for a while, he already may have formed a lifelong habit that is difficult to give up.
Explain that tobacco is a drug that creates cravings and physical dependence, just like other drugs. Tell him smoking is expensive, will discolor his teeth and make his body, clothing and breath stink. Then contact the American Lung Association at (800) LUNG-USA (800-586-4872) (lungusa.org) and ask about its N-O-T program for teens.
Dear Annie: What's with men and the hair in their noses and ears? Do they think it makes them more attractive? Does the hair in their ears make them hear better? Does extra nose hair enhance their sense of smell?
I have been a widow for a few years and have several male friends. But I cannot imagine getting serious with any of them because of this problem. All I have to do is look at them and it turns me off.
Please print this so men will read it and see the light. Montana Lady
Dear Montana: Good grooming is an absolute must, especially for those who are trying to attract a romantic interest. Everyone should check to see if nose hairs need trimming, and as men age, it is not uncommon for them to sprout hair on their ears as well. Hair happens. It doesn't go away without assistance from some cuticle scissors or a nose hair trimmer. When the woman of your dreams gazes up at you, she doesn't want to see Sherwood Forest. Enough said.
Dear Annie: My sister-in-law, "Lauren," claims she didn't forget my birthday, but she gave me my present three months late, which is when she "got around to it." I tried to be gracious about it, but on Christmas, while the whole family was opening gifts, Lauren announced that she hadn't had time to get me the restaurant gift certificate she wanted to go along with a small candle I had just opened. The restaurant in question is eight miles away. Everyone else received a gift from her.
I am starting to take this personally and would like some advice on how to handle the situation. Confused in Indianapolis
Dear Confused: Either Lauren feels close enough to you that she thinks she can be lazy and you won't mind, or she simply isn't thinking at all. Most folks would be happy if their relatives remembered them with gifts -- even belated ones. Lauren may be careless, forgetful or passive-aggressive when it comes to you. You can choose to take it as a personal affront, or you can ignore it. We say, let it go.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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