KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox If she loves 'Hugo,' she must confront her family

Dear Annie: I grew up in a very bigoted family, although I always have seen people as just people, not a "color."
At the moment, I am dating a man of another race, and I believe we have a future together. I know if my family discovers my relationship with "Hugo," they will disown me. When I look at this man, I see only a wonderful, sweet, caring, funny, considerate and loving person who cares very much for me and would provide a modicum of financial security and stability should we marry.
My family is not going to "come around." They would never listen to me or understand. My anxiety over such a huge decision is causing me a great deal of unrest. What do I do? Southern Belle
Dear Belle: Hugo deserves a woman who has the courage to tell her family she loves him. It may be difficult, but you don't get to avoid hard choices because they are unpleasant. You do not have to confront your family right now, but should the relationship progress and marriage become likely, you will need to inform them.
Whatever the fallout, you will have demonstrated honesty and integrity.
Dear Annie: Recently, my daughter was diagnosed as being HIV-positive. Our family was devastated, but we rallied around her and will go through this together.
My daughter looks perfectly healthy, and people with this virus can lead productive, active and healthy lives for 10, 20, even 30 years. However, it is still socially stigmatizing to have HIV, so choosing which people to tell can be draining. For HIV-positive people, keeping this secret can be difficult. They need their family and friends for support.
Please help us educate readers about how you can and cannot spread this disease. Tell people you cannot spread it by casual contact, a kiss on the cheek, holding hands or hugging others. It is spread through unprotected sexual contact and/or sharing needles or infected blood products.
We are fortunate that we have a loving and accepting family. In the long run, we will be OK. I just pray that people will think twice about judging others. Someday it could be you. Proud To Be Her Mom
Dear Proud: It is surprising, after all these years, that people are still ignorant about HIV. It is transmitted through blood or body fluids, not by touching, kissing or sharing the same air. With proper medical care, people with HIV can lead normal lives for many years. Thanks for reminding everyone.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Concerned in California," who worried about "Miranda," a drunk, belligerent mother who drove her children to soccer practice. I once was a mother like that. The best advice you gave was to call the police if Miranda is seen driving while under the influence.
"Concerned" also should phone Child Protective Services. She must be specific with dates and times she has seen Miranda driving with the children while intoxicated. This will generate an investigation, and maybe then Miranda will get the substance abuse treatment she needs, even if it means the children are placed in foster care until things are worked out.
I have been sober for 15 years and am now a certified substance abuse counselor. I try to help my clients get "clean and sober" one day at a time so they can be better parents. Sober in Roanoke, Va.
Dear Sober: Nothing speaks louder than words from someone who has been through it. Thank you for your sage advice.
Creators Syndicate