JOHN ROSEMOND | Parenting Don't be an audience for your child's drama

Q. The park in the center of our neighborhood is full of parents and children of all ages every afternoon. My 3-year-old daughter is having a problem with a much smaller 2-year-old. Often my daughter will bring along a doll or other toy to play with, but she usually loses interest after a while. At that point, the toddler will start playing with it. Suddenly, my daughter wants it back. If I tell her that she needs to share, she begins a tantrum and we have to leave. Last week, she was better about sharing, but when I told the toddler that it was time for her to give the toy back to my daughter, the other mother looked at me like I was evil, so I gathered my daughter up and left. This is creating a lot of tension for me. What do you suggest?
A. It seems to me that this problem can be solved by not allowing your daughter to take a toy to the park. Your daughter hasn't learned to share, and 2-year-olds are incapable of sharing, so the solution is to eliminate the source of the problem -- the object to be shared.
Furthermore, instead of waiting until the proverbial iron is hot before you try teaching your daughter the finer points of sharing, role-play sharing situations with her at home. You play the role of another child and help her develop the skills she needs to play with other children in a give-and-take fashion.
Another solution is to let your daughter take a toy to the park on the condition that she takes one for the 2-year-old and lets her play with it the entire time.
XJohn Rosemond is a family psychologist. Questions of general interest may be sent to him at Affirmative Parenting, 1020 East 86th Street, Suite 26B, Indianapolis, IN 46240 and at his Web site: www.rosemond.com/.