By HOWARD SHAPIRO

By HOWARD SHAPIRO
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
O, YOU ARE NOT THE WORSTsuitcase packer in America. Not by far. Console yourself. You have company. And don't complain too loudly about the way you pack, or fail to pack, because you'll begin an avalanche of suitcase-packing miscreants, all claiming to own the title of World's Worst.
If you're saying, "Yo, wait a minute, that's not me!" the rest of us gasp, and pause here to salute you. Only a rare person declares they are a sterling suitcase packer. I'm not discounting their claims by any means; in fact, people who think they pack exceedingly well probably do. They are the ones who close their suitcases every time without standing on them first. The rest of us are human compactors, smushing everything into an overly taut, bulging bag.
It's astounding how many people tell me they cannot pack well or, more likely, that they are constantly repentant overpackers. (Often, the lament comes from those of us who consider ourselves experienced travelers. Once, I even heard an airline worker say it.) It makes me wonder: If the majority are overpacking, then isn't that the norm? Aren't all the other people, the righteous ones who take such pride in packing just so, aren't they really underpackers? Shouldn't they be taking a lot more stuff with them?
Quiet admission
But when I leave for a trip without enough cramming room for even an additional sheet of paper inside my suitcase, I have to admit, quietly and only to myself, that I have a packing problem. Sometimes, I start all over again. Most times, I haven't another minute, because I've made packing the last priority before leaving the house -- which is, of course, one of the major reasons people overpack. They just fail to think about it enough and leave adequate time for it.
You can find all sorts of questionable tips about this, and such devices as compressors that squeeze the air out of every fiber of clothing you own so that you can get in just one more Hawaiian shirt. (So what if you're going skiing? You never know when the weather will shift.) A company called Luggage Concierge (www.luggageconcierge.com) will even pick up your bags, ship them in advance, then deliver them when you're settled at your destination, but it doesn't come and pack for you.
Like thinking, packing is largely a solitary enterprise. Except when people decide to travel together -- and pack together. This happens a lot with couples, and it's often a spirited way to start a trip. I offer five basic trouble signs:
U"Look at you! You're taking so-o-o-o-o-o much!"
U"But what if we go to a really nice place to eat? We'll need dressy stuff!"
U"Do you think two pairs of sneakers, two pairs of walking shoes and a couple of pairs of dress shoes will be enough? I mean, what will I wear to walk to the pool?"
U"Do you have any extra room in your suitcase for a few little things I can't fit in?"
U"Can you just hold this down while I close it?"
Ready for anything
You don't even have to be going far for one of the strangest phobias of travelers to overtake you: the fear that you'd better take every little thing you might need because you'll never be able to get it anywhere else. I go to Canada at least annually. The two of us get into the strangest conversations as we pore over our open suitcases:
"Gee, we'd better take aspirin; what if the kids get a headache?"
"Oops, I haven't packed enough underwear; better put in two more pair."
Hold on! Canada is an industrialized nation. We trade freely, more or less. They actually have pharmacies! People have even spotted aspirin up there, I'll bet. As for underwear, it's particularly strange for me to pack extra. I have a personal quirk (you might say a failing) about undershorts: I wear only a specific Canadian brand. So when I throw in some extra, it's like carrying an ice carving to Quebec -- especially since I'll be buying underwear on my trip.
There's a lot of chatter about the Transportation Security Administration's ability to open our suitcases after the airline personnel have taken them from us to put on the plane. Frankly, I have no qualms about the items in my suitcase. But I'm glad I'm not there when they open it and try to get it closed again. I would turn red enough to be dragged off under immediate suspicion.
Surfing for tips
The Internet is loaded with packing tips -- so many that if you start reading them now, you'll still be reading them when you should be long packed and on your trip. Truth to tell, no list of packing tips will suit everyone. The way you pack to go camping will differ from the way you'll pack to go to your cousin's wedding.
But there is a tip that makes good sense for all: Collect essential prescription medicines first and put them in a carry-on, never in a suitcase you send as checked baggage -- and may not see for a while if it enters the netherworld of lost luggage. Don't take such needless health risks.
Here's a rundown of some popular sites with suitcase-packing tips.
Uwww.travelsense.org. The American Society of Travel Agents offers what you might call broad tips: Iron everything before you pack, learn to fold, take your Swiss army knife. And remember to pack that Swiss gizmo in checked luggage or you'll never see it again, if everything is working right at airport security.
Uhttp://ricksteves.com. Rick Steves, whose specialty is Europe, has a nice packing list, which includes some things I always take (notepad, pen) and some things I never would (earplugs, soap). Still, if I used earplugs at home, I'd naturally take them along. I never take soap even though I use it at home, really. Steves also has separate lists for men and women heading on such niche trips as rafting and Nordic travel.
Uwww.freetraveltips.com. This site has many packing tips in Q-and-A format, with such good ideas as bringing along a plastic bag to store your dirties. I was especially eager for the answer to a question ripe with Ponce de Le & oacute;n possibility: "How can I avoid wrinkles?" Alas, the answer, in part: "Don't overpack your bags." Gee, thanks; we'll remember never to do that.
Uwww.verber.com. Mark Verber, a consultant, writes about traveling light, and he sounds like a very serious packer offering a well-thought-out list of what to pack.
Uwww.afn.org. This large list from Betty's Travel Kiosk warns that you should consider its contents, not take them as pure truth. And for that purpose, it's a usable collection of thoughts about what to pack.
Uhttp://upl.codeq.info. The Universal Packing List is fun and can be instructive. First, you fill out a quick questionnaire -- what sort of temperatures you'll encounter, your gender, planned activities, and some personal preferences. You then get a customized list. It has some good ideas and some mundane. Bring a belt, it told me, "useful in many ways."
Uwww.travelite.org. Lani Teshima's site is dedicated to teaching "ordinary people to travel lightly," and if you delight in considering yourself extraordinary, you can use it, too. It's also a great resource for links to other packing sites.
XContact Howard Shapiro at hshapiro@phillynews.com.