Annie's Mailbox Two-year-old ruined family get-together

Dear Annie: After numerous e-mails and phone calls with my sister-in-law, we could hardly wait for a week's visit from my brother's family. After the first night, however, my relatives were in total shock after witnessing the behavior of my brother's 2-year-old daughter, "Misty."
Misty walked all over our furniture, constantly screaming, hitting, pinching and pushing everyone she encountered. She even hit her parents and her 8-year-old brother. She is the most unhappy child I have ever seen.
We have a 3-year-old who plays beautifully with other children. Misty was abusive to her cousin, and at no time did her parents discipline her. When Misty was awake, there was a lot of tension. When she was asleep, we all had a great time.
I couldn't sit and watch Misty abuse my daughter, so I finally confronted my brother and his wife. They swore up and down that they had never seen Misty act this way before and she has never had a problem playing with other children. Yet every time Misty screamed, hit or walked on my furniture, I was told repeatedly by her parents that "Misty just needs her space."
I'm just so hurt and frustrated that a 2-year-old could ruin a visit. I realize the child is not to blame if her parents have not done their job properly. I do not care to be around Misty or subject my child to her. But I had such a great time with my brother, his wife and their son that I'd love to see them again. They want us to visit next summer. What should I do? Misty's Hostage
Dear Hostage: Toddlers, fortunately, change a great deal over a short time, and by next year, Misty may be much better behaved. Try not to pass judgment so soon.
By all means, plan to see your brother next summer, but make reservations at a nearby motel, so you can control how much time you spend with Misty.
Dear Annie: My birthday falls on New Year's Eve. I got fed up with not being sufficiently recognized, and I now start working my birthday into conversations about six weeks ahead of time. ("Did you know it's only five weeks to Christmas and only six weeks to my birthday?")
It has since become an office joke and is never forgotten. I recommend this approach to anyone whose birthday is neglected. Born as a Tax Deduction
Dear Tax Deduction: A sense of humor (and some persistence) can go a long way. And, oh yes, Happy Birthday.
Dear Annie: I work as a labor and delivery nurse. I am frequently put into the middle of family arguments because this or that person insists on attending the birth against the parents' wishes. This creates a hostile environment, and it is difficult for the mother to relax and cope with her labor.
Here are my suggestions for expecting parents and their families:
UDon't assume you are invited to the birth. If the parents want you to be in the birthing room, they will ask you.
UDon't camp out in the hall outside the room and listen. It may make the mother self-conscious, and it also is dangerous to the nurses if they come dashing out of the room to fetch something.
UBe supportive. Offer to get ice chips or take over for the coach so he or she can use the bathroom or get a snack.
ULimit your visitation time after the birth. Most new mothers are exhausted.
UOnce the new parents arrive home, offer to cook a meal, clean the house, fold the laundry or sit with the baby so the new mom can take a nap or shower.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. Baby Nurse in Kansas
Dear Nurse: New parents everywhere will appreciate your thoughtful suggestions. Thanks for writing.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Creators Syndicate