Annie's Mailbox Apology doesn't admit to guilt

Dear Annie: Yesterday, "Gina," my best friend of 27 years, accused me of looking in her wallet when she ran into her house to get something while I sat in her minivan. I did not go through her wallet. In fact, I never even touched it.
I swore to Gina that I didn't do anything, but she insists she saw me looking at her driver's license photo on the outside of her wallet. But, Annie, she is mistaken. I had my own wallet in my lap and was looking through it, sorting out my receipts and cash. I'm sure she saw mine and thought it was hers. It was flipped open and my photo was visible. She assumed it was her wallet with the photo on the outside.
I never would do anything to jeopardize our friendship. How can I prove to Gina that I never touched her things? I feel as though our friendship is ruined because of her accusations. West Lafayette, Ind.
Dear Indiana: A good friend doesn't assume the worst about her pals, and then accuse them of lying when they offer a reasonable explanation. Have you done other things in the past to make Gina suspect you of snooping? Has Gina accused others of invading her privacy? She doesn't sound completely rational to us.
Since you value the friendship, the easiest way to remedy this is to apologize without admitting guilt: "Gina, I'm so sorry you thought I looked in your wallet. I would never intentionally risk our friendship. You mean too much to me."
Dear Annie: Recently, our beloved mother passed away without leaving a will. During the last few years of her life, she gave most of her prized possessions to her children and grandchildren so she could watch us enjoy them.
Mom also told us that her home and remaining possessions were to be left to her youngest son, who lived with her for the last 10 years. Those closest to her have abided by her wishes. However, one granddaughter has called repeatedly, asking about the estate and wanting to get her hands on the items left to my brother.
My greedy niece has done her homework and is rubbing her hands raw for her "share." We expect there will be a long legal battle over this selfish girl's actions. We stopped having holiday dinners with the entire family because of this niece. Now we must deal with a fight that would have shamed and disgusted her grandmother.
I hope this letter serves to encourage anyone who hasn't written a will to do so. You'd be surprised what comes out of the closet when people die. Disappointed in Bakersfield, Calif.
Dear Bakersfield: Greed can be a powerful motivator, but if this niece received mementos from her grandmother equal to what other grandchildren received, there's no reason for her to believe she is entitled to more. Is there anyone who can explain to this misguided soul that she is creating a tremendous amount of ill-will for what ultimately may be very little gain? No amount of money can replace a loving family.
Dear Annie: I am a retired widow, comfortably fixed, not wealthy. In the past year, I have received six requests to "sponsor" a student's trip somewhere. In all but one, the trip was affiliated with a church. These students were all distantly related, or the grandchildren of close friends, so obviously, it is awkward not to donate.
I believe these organizations are wrong to teach students to beg so they can go on an exotic trip. They should be taught to earn the extra money. Please address this issue in your column. No Name, No City
Dear No Name: Most organizations require that students have bake sales, car washes, sell small items or perform charitable services in order to raise money for trips. There is a lot of pride in working hard to reach a goal. Those who don't shouldn't be surprised when the donations are smaller or nonexistent.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
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