Split-second decision eventually destroyed his life

Dear Annie: Our wonderful, 30-year-old son died by suicide four months ago. He was a born-again Christian and a married man, smart, handsome, caring and liked by all. He offered his arm to senior citizens at church. He loved his family. What led him to suicide? In college, he was lured into trying drugs. Being young and invincible, he tried them "just once" and found he could not put them down. A decision that took a split second to make destroyed his life.
Drug addiction can attack all families, all colors, all income levels, all levels of education. No demographic group is excluded from this horrible demon. His father and I have been married 37 years. We are middle-class, college-educated, responsible citizens who raised our child with love, high standards and high morals.
Please, parents, do not be naive and think this cannot happen in your family. Keep your eyes open. If you see something that is even mildly worrisome, address the issue. Be alert for something that does not sound right to you. Don't always take your child's word. Keep the lines of communication open. Know their friends, where they are going, what they are doing. Enforce curfews. Don't be afraid to say "no." Help them develop wholesome, healthy interests. Don't be eager to send them away to college. Let them mature close to home for the first year or two. Help them find a passion to keep them motivated through the difficult parts of life.
I don't know that there is anything we could have done differently to avoid this tragedy. Our hearts are forever broken. Help me keep this from destroying other families. If it can happen to us, it can happen to anybody. Michael's Proud Mom
Dear Michael's Mom: We ache for your loss. Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs on earth. Parents can do everything right, but children still grow up and make their own choices. We do the best we can with the tools we have. Thank you for caring enough to share your story with our readers.
Dear Annie: I had to laugh at your answer to the reader who has a pet rat. When my daughter was 4 years old, she brought a rat home for the weekend from preschool. We were horrified at that big, fat, ugly thing with the long tail, but soon we realized that it was gentle, ate demurely, didn't run away and was kind of cute.
We then allowed the kids to raise a baby rat, which had the run of their room. It never made a mess because it liked its cage so much. When the kids came home from school, it came lunging toward them like a puppy.
Any pet can be therapeutic. Of course, always wash your hands after handling, and make sure it has a clean bed, food and fresh water. Like Rats in Orange, Calif.
Dear Like Rats: We heard from plenty of rat aficionados, and we will concede that they might make good pets, but we'll pass, thank you.
Dear Annie: I was married for two years, but was dissatisfied and got a divorce. My husband took the breakup pretty hard. Now, a year later, I see how I let things get out of control. I miss my husband. After reading countless self-help books, I feel ready to try again, and be more committed and communicate better.
I hurt my ex deeply, and I've heard he has moved on, but I know he still loves me. He works in another state, and I have no way to contact him. His family will not give him my messages. What can I do to make this right? Stanfield, N.C.
Dear Stanfield: You can explain to his family that you made a terrible mistake and want to do better, but if they still won't put you in touch with your ex-husband, please let it go. If he has moved on, you should, too. We're hoping you'll do better the next time around.
Creators Syndicate
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