Roseanne to appear in 'Two and a Half Men'

Roseanne to appear in'Two and a Half Men'
After failed stints as a talk-show host and a reality-TV star, Roseanne is heading back to the genre that launched her career and turned her into an insufferable egomaniac, reports TV Guide Online.
The Emmy winner will appear in a November sweeps episode of CBS' "Two and a Half Men" as the sister of Charlie Sheen's maid, played by Conchata Ferrell.
The sitcom gig, only her second since Roseanne went kaput in 1997 (she also did an episode of "The Nanny"), reunites the one-time Domestic Goddess with "Men" creator and ex-Roseanne scribe Chuck Lorre.
"I haven't worked with her since 1992, so it's exciting," Lorre tells TV Guide Online. "I learned a lot on 'Roseanne.' It was tough, but I learned a lot."
Scarlett Johanssonlikes her men mature
Dirty old geezers across the globe celebrated this week as starlet Scarlett Johansson told Brit tabloid the Daily Express that she likes her boys on the older side. She's 19. She says she'd be thrilled to have a fling with "a guy who's 40, 50 or 60 years old. ... Why not?" The Express notes that Johansson is currently in London filming Woody Allen's latest flick. But no, that geezer (he's 68) isn't necessarily her cup o' tea. The "Lost in Translation" star says she's keen on another older dude, John Travolta, 50: "He has everything that I like in a man: strength and vulnerability."
Paris Hilton revealsbehind-the-scenes life
NEW YORK -- Paris Hilton is trying on a new outfit: a hard cover.
The model-reality TV star has written a 198-page memoir, "Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose."
Though the missing Chihuahua saga was too recent to make the book, Hilton writes about her youth as an heiress in a "really close" family. Excerpts of the book (to hit shelves Sept. 7) are in the People magazine that comes out today.
"It's traditional for an heiress to be raised in a sheltered way," she writes. "No one thinks that's true of me, but it actually was."
Still, Hilton insists she was not coddled: "The rumor is that I got a credit card at age 9, which is ridiculous. It was more like 19, and I had to get one myself without my parents."
Her "Confessions" reveal a girl not as confident as the runway model frequently seen in the tabloids. "It was so embarrassing being flat-chested that I wore padded bras till I was 17. Now, I'm happy to be small. It looks better in clothes. But back then I was really insecure."
The notorious party girl also feels a change coming: "I don't always want the glamorous, jet-set life. Let's face it, I've done it. Someday soon, I want to have children and a big house with a lot of animals -- like my parents had."
Hilton's memoirs are not without fashion tips, either. "Trust me, people act differently to you when you've got jewelry on your head."
Can the Fab Five improveon Gene Simmons' look?
NEW YORK -- How would the guys from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" make over the black and white makeup of Kiss? We may get to find out.
Gene Simmons, the tongue-wagging bassist of Kiss, is considering an appearance on the Bravo reality show. On his Web site, Simmons says that producers for the show have asked him to join the Fab Five for an episode.
"They called me and asked me if I would do it. I'm a fan of the show. We may shoot on the 28th of September," Simmons says.
Bravo did not immediately return calls seeking a comment.
"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" is in its second season, airing on Bravo at 10 p.m. (EDT) on Tuesdays.
Today's birthdays
Cajun-country singer Jimmy C. Newman is 77. Actor Tommy Sands is 67. Bluegrass singer-musician J.D. Crowe is 67. Musician Daryl Dragon is 62. Actress Tuesday Weld is 61. Rock singer-musician Tim Bogert is 60. Actress Marianne Sagebrecht is 59. Actress Barbara Bach is 57. Ex-porn star Harry Reems is 57. Country musician Jeff Cook (Alabama) is 55. Actor Paul Reubens is 52. Singer Willy DeVille is 51. Rock musician Alex Lifeson (Rush) is 51. Actress Diana Scarwid is 49. Rock musician Glen Matlock (The Sex Pistols) is 48. Actor Peter Stormare is 46. Country singer Jeffrey Steele is 43. Gospel singer Yolanda Adams is 42. Country musician Matthew Basford (Yankee Grey) is 42. Writer-producer Dean Devlin is 42. Rock musician Mike Johnson (Dinosaur Jr.) is 39. Rap musician Bobo (Cypress Hill) is 36. Rock musician Tony Kanal (No Doubt) is 34. Actress Sarah Chalke is 28. Rock musician Jon Siebels (Eve 6) is 25. Singer Mario is 18. Actress Alexa Vega ("Spy Kids") is 16.