KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Soldier in Iraq receives readers' outpouring of acceptance

Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Seeking Acceptance in Iraq," the soldier whose father treats him as "dead" because they disagree about the war. As president of the national veterans' organization VietNow, I was at first appalled that a fellow Vietnam veteran would do the very thing to his own son that much of the country did to us when we returned home. However, there may be more going on.
This officer's father may be dealing silently with some of the baggage of his own service, and those feelings are now being brought to the surface because of his son's choices. I hope and pray that someday soon, this father will be able to put his arms around his son and tell him he is proud of him and "welcome home." There will be plenty of time for history to sort out the politics of this current war. Right now, we need to do everything we can to support our troops. Rich Sanders (vietnow.com)
Dear Rich Sanders: We were heartened by the outpouring of mail for this officer. Our readers overwhelmingly wanted him to know that he is in their thoughts and prayers. Read on for a sampling:
From the Midwest: How sad that this father has chosen to cut communication and love from his son when he needs it more than ever. Dad should be proud that his son follows through with his commitments, and demonstrates great loyalty, determination and dedication. Our children make choices with the values and morals we teach them. That father should support his son's dedication, even if he does not support the war. To this soldier, I say, stay strong and come home alive. You have family around the world, not just at home.
Denver: What would be his father's biggest regret if he got the worst news any parent could receive? That his last words to his son were, "You're dead to me." Those are powerful words, especially when it's too late to take them back. It's much harder to ask for forgiveness standing at your son's grave than it is when he's standing in front of you.
St. Paul, Minn.: Your response seems to side more with the son than the father. This father has recognized that President Bush misled everyone about weapons of mass destruction to justify the Iraq war. Dad does not have to compromise his convictions about this evil war. He should be praised for his patriotic stand against the war, and his son should recognize the true bravery of his father.
Illinois: I am absolutely dumbfounded that a man who served in Vietnam could react so poorly to his own son. I thought we learned that you don't have to agree with a war to support those brave men and women who fight on our behalf. To all those who serve, please come home safely.
Florida: Whether or not the war was a mistake, the army officer is an honorable man, doing his duty and living his life the best way he can. I would be glad to be a substitute father and give him all the emotional support he needs. Lt. Col., Air Force Reserves, Ret.
Connecticut: My daughter is a member of the Army National Guard, and she just returned home from a year's deployment in Iraq. She told me that what kept her morale up was the support she received from her family and friends. As much as I didn't want my daughter to go, this isn't about me. I'm so proud of her.
Arizona: My son is a Marine serving in Afghanistan. Whether we are anti-war or not, we have an obligation to our servicemen and women to show our support for their sacrifices.
Dear Annie: The Vietnam veteran father may have PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder). At the very least, he needs professional assistance to overcome his anger and control problems. Free help is available at the Veterans Administration. John Kristoff, Past President, Tyler Vietnam Veterans Assn.
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