KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Family does nothing about his interest in porn



Dear Annie: I am caught between a rock and a hard place. My friend "Stephanie" is 45, and I am 37. We've been friends for years.
Stephanie lives with her parents, and I am over at their place a great deal. On several occasions, I have seen her father looking at child pornography on the computer. Her dad is 74 years old and has five grandchildren who visit his home quite often. I don't know if he ever has touched those children inappropriately, but I can tell you that every time I have seen them with their grandfather, he is awfully affectionate. They get up on his lap, and he hugs them and so on.
The rest of the family knows about Dad's interests, but they do nothing about it. Stephanie told me it would be too difficult to report her own father, and besides, she says, men that age become "dirty old men" in some way or another.
I don't think this is normal. Is it? Confused in Ohio
Dear Ohio: Hogwash. Men in their 70s don't develop a sudden interest in child pornography simply because they have reached a certain age. On the other hand, the fact that his grandchildren climb on his lap is meaningless. If they were reluctant to be affectionate with Grandpa, that would be a greater cause for concern, but it's not conclusive either way.
It is foolish for the family to disregard Dad's proclivities. Child pornography is illegal. Tell Stephanie that to ensure the children's safety, there should be supervision whenever they visit Grandpa, and the parents of those children should be aware of the situation. Grandpa also should get counseling, before he gets arrested.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Worried in Ohio," whose 11-year-old son, "Ian," used a screwdriver to force open his parents' bedroom door. His mom says he walked in on them having sex. He didn't "walk in," he broke in. I can't believe that neither you nor the psychiatrist you consulted commented on that. Doesn't such budding criminal behavior seem a little disturbed to you? Or at the least, self-centered and over-indulged?
Haven't his parents taught him to respect their privacy? If the door is locked, it means stay out. Middle School Teacher
Dear Teacher: We addressed the issue we felt was most important -- that Ian has not yet come to terms with his mother having sex with Dad. Of course breaking into the bedroom was a bit extreme, but more, shall we say, resourceful than criminal.
Several readers were so angry they practically demanded Ian get the electric chair. One does not deal with disturbed children simply by punishing them for being so desperate that they take inappropriate action. The parents should let Ian know such behavior is not acceptable, but the boy has obvious emotional issues, and that's where the primary emphasis should be.
Dear Annie: I rarely miss your column and would like to comment on the letter from "Stinky Breath."
The most common causes of halitosis (90 percent) are oral in nature -- a heavy coat on the back of the tongue, periodontal disease, dental caries, devital teeth, food debris, diet and oral cancer. Regular brushing of the back of the tongue (or use of a tongue scraper) has cured many halitosis cases.
If all diagnostic means prove fruitless, halitophobia must be considered (false impression that one has bad breath). This also can be treated. Bertrand W. Weesner Jr., D.D.S., M.P.H., Emeritus Professor of Periodontology, University of Tennessee College of Dentistry
Dear Dr. Weesner: We appreciate our readers helping one another, particularly when they are authorities in the field. Many thanks for your expert advice.
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