He's not happy with paying for 'Maddie's' visits

Dear Annie: When I met my ex-wife, she had a beautiful 7-month-old baby. "Maddie" thinks I am her father. When Maddie was old enough to ask why her last name was different, her mother told her it was because we were not yet married when she was born. She is 11 now.
My ex and I had two children together, "Johnny," now 8, and "Susie," now 5. Because Maddie is not biologically mine, it was determined during the divorce mediation that I was not financially responsible for her in any way, yet her mother insists she be included in my visitation with Johnny and Susie.
Here's the problem: The custody agreement says Johnny and Susie stay with me for seven days, then they stay with their mother. I pay child support for Johnny and Susie, but I also buy clothes and food for Maddie when she is with me. This seems unfair.
My attorney told me there was no way for me to demand child support for Maddie, since she is not biologically mine. If I ask her mother to start giving me money, I know she will refuse. My only other option is to stop including Maddie during visitation with the other two children. How can I do this without making a huge mess and destroying all the children's lives? Struggling in the Midwest
Dear Struggling: Please, please, do not abandon Maddie. You are the only father she has ever known. If she were your biological child, you would be paying child support as well as providing food and clothing when she visits. We think you are getting a bargain -- a loving child for half the cost.
We know this seems unfair to you, but we believe it's worth it. Perhaps you could suggest to your ex-wife that she ask for child support from Maddie's biological father and give some of that to you for the girl's upkeep. Maddie eventually may learn about her paternity, but it is important that she knows you love her regardless.
Dear Annie: I work in a hospital as a registered nurse. Would you please print my list of helpful "hospital etiquette" when people visit friends and family members?
UIf you are sick, stay home.
UWash your hands when you enter a patient's room.
UStay off the bed.
UDo not smoke before you visit. The smoke lingers on clothing.
UDon't wear heavy cologne. It makes it hard for the patient to breathe.
UDon't bring small children and camp out with them at your loved one's bedside. This is not a day-care center.
UDon't send huge plants, baskets of fruit, etc. Someone has to carry that stuff home. Send it to the patient's house. Better yet, fix a meal for them, run errands, or offer to stay at their home so other family members can do needed errands.
UIf there are more visitors than chairs, maybe this is not the best time to visit.
Your loved ones are in the hospital because they are ill. Allow them to get all the professional care they need to get better and be able to go home. Hays, Kan.
Dear Hays: Your suggestions are good ones. Thanks for writing.
Dear Annie: If a woman was recently exposed to condyloma acuminatum (a form of genital warts), is there a treatment to stop the virus before it gets established? I had this condition for two months but have now been treated. Ralph
Dear Ralph: According to the American Social Health Association (ashastd.org), current available treatments are not designed to prevent the virus from becoming established, although new vaccines are being developed.
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