TEEN SHOPPING CLOTHING CONTROL

Parents are successfully setting spending limits.
By KATHLEEN LYNN
KNIGHT RIDDER NEWSPAPERS
HACKENSACK, N.J. -- My teenage daughter and I sat at the kitchen table one evening last summer and made a list -- five pairs of jeans, $20 each; two bathing suits, $40 each; two dozen pairs of socks, $1 each, and so on -- until we had a year's worth of new apparel.
This was the first step in creating a clothing allowance. My mission: to use her keen interest in clothes to teach her how to manage money.
A year later, as we enter the back-to-school shopping season again, I'd rate our experiment a success. Just as important, so would my daughter.
After creating our list, we agreed on an allowance. It was more than I had expected when we started estimating, but less than $1,000 for the whole year. We set it up on a quarterly system, starting Aug. 1 for back-to-school shopping. Once every three months, I replenish the fund.
Challenge
Over the year, my daughter occasionally found the spending limits a challenge.
"Sometimes I'd look at stuff and say, 'I want that, but I have a budget so I can't get that,'" she said.
Overall, however, she liked the idea. For one thing, it took most conflicts out of shopping. In the past, we had variations of the same argument many times:
"I want that T-shirt."
"You don't need it; you have enough."
In the end, she'd either get it, or not. But what would she learn?
Now, if we're in the store and she asks for something, I just say, "That's up to you. It's your clothing allowance."
"I feel more free," she said the other day. "I can choose exactly what I want and you can't say I can't get it, because I can. It's my money, it feels like -- even though it's yours. I'm more careful."
Fewer trips
And to my surprise, the allowance reduced shopping trips. In the old days, she'd ask to go shopping on many Saturdays even if she didn't have a specific item in mind. And, let's face it, once you're in the store, something always catches your eye and begs to be taken home.
Now, she is much more mindful about what she has and what she needs. We go to the store only when she wants something specific. Overall, that means we're spending less time, and less money, in the stores.
"I go to the store knowing I can only spend so much money because I have a definite amount," she said.
She has some restrictions: She can't use the clothing budget to buy other items, such as CDs; and of course I still have parental veto power over what she can wear -- so revealing styles are out.
Success
Our success with the clothing allowance is no surprise to financial experts like Elizabeth Schiever of the National Endowment for Financial Education in Colorado.
"I think it's a really good way to begin to learn to manage a set amount of money," said Schiever. "Almost everybody has limits as to the amount of money they have. You have to make decisions about what's going to be most important."
Another fan is Neale Godfrey, co-author of "Money Still Doesn't Grow on Trees: A Parent's Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Teenagers and Young Adults" (Rodale Books, $15.95).
She recommends starting by asking teens to figure out what they think they need once every three months.
"Let them go price the clothes out, and then you start negotiating with them: 'You don't need five pairs of jeans, you need two,'" she said.
Then, she said, come up with an amount you'll give them. If you give them $200 for the quarter and they spend $150 on a leather jacket, they have to figure out how to stretch the rest of the money to cover their other needs -- or chip in from their own earnings.
Bargain-hunters
She also advises parents to teach a teenager how to shop for bargains. But I suspect most teens can figure that out on their own. My daughter got pretty smart about checking the clearance racks once she realized that if she spent less on a belt, for example, she'd have more for shoes and shorts.
Godfrey can't recommend an amount that families should spend on teen wardrobes, since different families can afford different amounts. I'd have to agree -- my daughter's budget worked for our middle-class family, but other families might choose to spend a lot more, or a lot less.
If the child comes in under budget, Godfrey recommends rewarding her by handing over the extra money. (I may just give my daughter half, since I earned the money in the first place.)
Godfrey said that many middle-class families pay for their kids' clothes until they graduate from college. But growing up in a large family, I certainly paid for my own clothes before then. I think we may want to shift at least some of the responsibility to my daughter as she moves into her late teens. Maybe we'll do it when she has steadier work than the occasional baby-sitting job.
But for a few years, at least, we're going to stick with this plan -- despite potential pitfalls. When I told a friend about this idea last year, she laughed and said, "What are you going to do if she runs out of money in the winter? Tell her she can't have a winter jacket?"
Luckily for her, the kid managed to stay under budget, and never had to freeze.