KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Her sleeping pills are working too well

Dear Annie: For many years, I have had problems sleeping. It made my life absolutely miserable. After trying various techniques, my doctor finally put me on sleeping pills that work. Maybe they work too well.
I have discovered that my husband is having sex with me while I am sleeping. At first, I wasn't sure, but when I confronted my husband, he confessed. Can you tell me if this is wrong? I don't know how to handle this peculiar situation, and I keep wondering what else my husband is doing while I'm sound asleep.
Please give me a clue. Sleepy in San Bernardino, Calif.
Dear Sleepy: Sex without your consent constitutes rape, even if you are married. The question is whether or not you want to report him to the police. If you don't want to take that step, please ask your doctor to refer you to a marriage counselor. He or she will help you understand why your husband enjoys such a one-sided sexual relationship and what you can do about it.
Dear Annie: My husband and I recently bought the home that I was born and raised in. We purchased the property from my parents at a fair price. My father passed away not long ago, and now my mother lives with us. I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, etc., but all I get from Mom is negativity. If I make a nice meal, the vegetables are undercooked, the meat is overcooked or the potatoes should have been mashed instead of baked. Nothing ever pleases her. She wouldn't think of saying "thank you." When my sisters or brother visit, she praises them to the skies and tells me how wonderful their children are. I have listened to this for two years, and I'm sick of it.
Mother doesn't pay for anything in the home, including groceries, utilities or the telephone bill, even though she makes plenty of calls. If she were in a retirement home, she'd be forking over $1,500 per month and she would still have to do her own laundry. Should I ask her to foot some of the bills? If I suggest that Mom move out, my sisters and brother will never speak to me again. Yet they won't offer to take Mom into their homes. What can I do? Trapped in Ontario
Dear Trapped: There are some parents who can't seem to appreciate the children who do the most for them. It's time for a frank discussion with your siblings. Explain the financial situation. There is no reason for you to foot the entire bill for Mom. Your siblings should be contributing as well, and if your mother has an income, she can certainly afford to use part of it to pay for her expenses.
Then talk to your mother. Tell her she seems unhappy living with you, and ask if she'd prefer a retirement home where there would be people her age and activities she might enjoy. At the very least, it will make her aware of your feelings.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Little Piggies," whose co-worker clips his nails at work. I work as a flight attendant. In first class, during predeparture, we serve orange juice and sparkling wine on a white linen-lined tray. One time, the passenger in 1C was clipping his fingernails, and while I held the tray out to the passenger next to him, one of Mr. 1C's "clippings" plopped itself right on the tray. Needless to say, the whole lot was dumped.
Right you are, Annie. This is a personal grooming chore to be done in private. F.A. in Toronto
Dear Toronto: How appetizing that must have been. And in first class, yet.
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