Teen's concern should be thoroughly evaluated
Dear Annie: I am a 14-year-old girl who reads your column daily and was wondering if you could help me. I have a spot on each of my breasts. They look like bruises. My breasts are sore sometimes anyway, so at first, I didn't pay much attention to the spots, but they've been here for six months, and I'm starting to worry.
I'm close with my mom, but I can't bring myself to ask her about it. I'm afraid she'd take me to the doctor, and money is tight. Could you just tell me if the spots are normal? Wondering in the U.S.
Dear Wondering: We consulted Dr. Susan Jay, director of the Division of Adolescent Medicine, and Dr. Amy Forrer, Medicine-Pediatrics resident, both at Loyola University Health System in Maywood, Ill. Here is their response:
"First, bruises commonly occur from trauma. The trauma could be from the underwire in your bra or even from a contact sport, but generally, six months of unresolved bruising is too long, unless the injury is recurring. The 'bruise' may also be more of an irritation of the skin called contact dermatitis. Again, your bra may be the culprit if the wiring contains nickel or an allergic material.
"Second, once you start your period, you may have mild breast discomfort for a few days monthly. It would be best if you were seen by a physician to make sure your breasts are developing normally and to answer other questions about your changing body. Please talk to your mother about this, and look into a free clinic in your neighborhood so that your concerns can be more thoroughly evaluated."
Dear Annie: I recently took my daughter to see an age-appropriate movie. The entire time, the woman behind me kicked my seat and used it for leverage whenever she stood up. This was so constant and bothersome that I finally turned around and politely said, "You keep bonking my chair. Would you please be more careful?" Instead of apologizing the woman loudly replied, "Oh, why don't you just relax, lady? Can't you see I'm here with my children? I mean, calm down." This confused my daughter, who could see that I already was completely calm.
Since the woman was being irrational, I ignored her and tried to watch the rest of the movie. I could have moved, but had we stood up, others would have been inconvenienced.
What gets me is why this woman didn't take responsibility for her actions. She knew she was hitting my chair. A simple apology would have sufficed. Instead, she will raise another generation of people who believe they are never to blame. Should I have handled this differently? Someone Who Still Believes in Manners
Dear Someone: You handled it fine, although had you stood up, you could have asked an usher or the manager to take care of the situation. Some people think children's movies are so informal that they can behave any way they wish and no one is entitled to complain. While a certain amount of extra noise and movement is to be expected, one should not become a constant nuisance. It's amazing how some folks would rather be rude than say, "I'm sorry."
Dear Annie: I was recently invited to a baby shower, and the invitation asked for donations. When I called to tell the hostess I could not make it because I'd be out of town, she asked if I would still make a donation. I asked if I could send a gift.
She informed me that the new mother wanted only money, so she could buy what she preferred. What is happening to people today? Annoyed in Montreal
Dear Annoyed: They have an unwarranted sense of entitlement, are ignorant of proper shower etiquette or are just plain greedy. We see no improvement on the horizon.
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