KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Two men want to be baby's father

Dear Annie: I'm 17 years old and found out five months ago that I am pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, "Ryan," he panicked and said he never wanted to talk to me again. I was crushed, and scared about having this baby on my own.
A week later, my friend, "Dan," offered to step into the role of father. He said he would take care of the baby and that everyone would believe the baby was his. I agreed. We told my family and then his. During the last five months, Dan has come to my doctors' appointments and the Lamaze classes. I was happy and relieved that my child would have a father.
Two weeks ago, I came dangerously close to losing the baby. Ryan ended up rushing me to the hospital. When the baby was out of danger, Ryan told me that he'd changed his mind and now wanted to be the baby's father, no matter what.
I'm completely mixed up. I really think Dan would be the best father, but what about Ryan's rights? If I choose Ryan and he later abandons me, I know Dan would not come to my rescue again. What should I do? Afraid in Iowa
Dear Iowa: You are too confused and too young to be making a lifetime commitment to either of these guys. You need more time to make the right choices for yourself and your baby. Also, please discuss the true situation with your parents, so they can be a source of support for you and your child.
Dan sounds like a prince, but passing off your child as his is more complicated than you think, and the truth has a way of getting out. We don't think Ryan is mature enough to be a responsible partner. However, he should live up to his obligations as a father, so discuss child support and visitation with a lawyer.
Dear Annie: Is it ever appropriate for guests to enter another person's home through the garage? We have a perfectly usable paved walkway to our front door. I have a wreath on the door and plants and flowers on the porch. However, for some bizarre reason, any time our garage door is open, guests always come into the house through the garage and right into our kitchen.
I've tried comments such as, "Sorry it took me so long. I assumed you were at the front door," but they haven't gotten the hint. Front Door in South Carolina
Dear S.C.: Some people assume an open door is an invitation to enter. They may even believe you prefer that they come through the garage, since you've made it so convenient. We say, keep your garage door closed. End of problem.
Dear Annie: I live in Alaska where people love to visit. We enjoy seeing our friends, but do not want to be used as a hotel and restaurant. We want our friends to stay somewhere else. What is the most polite way to handle this without hurting anyone's feelings? Anchorage
Dear Anchorage: When friends tell you they are coming to your neck of the woods, say, "We hope we can see you while you're in town. Perhaps we can get together for dinner." That should make it clear.
Dear Readers: Today is Administrative Professionals Day (formerly known as National Secretary's Day). There are more than 4.1 million secretaries and administrative assistants working in the United States, and 8.9 million people working in various administrative support roles. More than 475,000 administrative professionals are employed in Canada and millions more in offices all over the world.
If you have assistants who make your job easier, today is a good time to let them know how much they are appreciated.
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