His return is from war back to war

Dear Annie: I am a Reserve Army officer stationed in Iraq. The year away from home has taught me a lot. However, I am concerned about my return. What worries me most is my father. Dad is a Vietnam veteran and fiercely anti-war. We couldn't be more different politically, and I have never had much emotional support from him, especially when I became an officer in the Army.
When my unit was mobilized, my father insisted I resign my commission. He said, "Choose between your family or the Army." Annie, my first loyalty is to my family, but I will not go back on my word, my duty and my obligation to serve. I believe in what I'm doing, and nothing can change my mind on this.
My father was furious when I left. He told me I was no longer welcome in his home, I should never write to him, and although he hoped I would come back safely, I was dead to him either way. He meant it, too. My father has not written to me even once. I was hoping he would calm down over time, but no such luck. I heard from my sister that he has no interest in seeing me when I get home and that I don't belong in his life until I admit the war was a mistake.
Annie, should I just lie to him? Is he being unreasonable, or am I just blinded by my duty as an officer? Seeking Acceptance Back Home
Dear Seeking: It's good to have principles, but no one's political opinions should require him to cut off loved ones who disagree. Sooner or later, the war will be over, but the damage to your relationship could last a lifetime.
Will your sister act as an intermediary? Ask if she will get a message to your father. Tell him you understand his strong feelings on the subject, but you hope he will not let political differences cause a permanent rift. Let him know you love him, no matter what side he is on, and promise not to discuss the topic in his presence.
Let's hope he comes to his senses soon.
Dear Annie: Our son and his fiancee are planning on living together this spring. My wife and I believe the main reason is that our son's fiancee will receive more financial aid for graduate school if she remains single. Our son has not tried to hide his plans from us, nor has he asked our blessing.
Our religious beliefs tell us that living together is wrong, but my instincts say it may be the correct decision financially. We love both of these kids and do not want to create problems. How should we handle this? Should we prohibit them from sleeping together in our home when they visit, or are we being too old-fashioned? Perplexed in Pontiac, Mich.
Dear Pontiac: You are wise to know that your son is an adult and this decision is his. In your home, however, you can set the rules. Having them sleep in separate rooms may seem old-fashioned to some, but you should not feel obligated to accommodate a request that goes against your religious beliefs. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Dear Annie: This is in response to "Fed Up in Wisconsin," who thinks anyone with dogs should lock them in another room when she comes over. She needs to take into consideration that these pets, dogs or otherwise (in my case, cats and rats), are their "children." I would never expect you to lock up your human child when I come over. Why should I do it with mine? If you don't like my "children," don't come to my house. Proud Parent of Furry Children
Dear Furry: Pet rats? You don't have to lock up your furry children, but don't expect us to drop by any time soon. Thanks for writing.
XE-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@com-cast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox™, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Ill. 60611.
Creators Syndicate