KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox It's up to their aunt to tell 'Melody' the secret of her parentage

Dear Annie: Approximately 15 years ago, when I was a teenager, my older sister told me a shocking secret that she learned from our father. She told me that one of our cousins is actually our sister. My mother apparently became pregnant out of wedlock, and my married aunt offered to raise "Melody" as her own. She made my mom promise never to tell Melody the truth.
When my mother passed away, it upset me terribly to think that Melody never knew about her parentage. My older sister thinks Melody does know, but is too embarrassed or ashamed to bring it up. When we discussed it with my aunt (Melody's mother), she said we were not permitted to say one word to our cousin on the subject.
I have not seen Melody since my mother's funeral, seven years ago. She lives in another city, and we are not close. I think about her occasionally and would like her to know that she has sisters here. We are all adults now. Should I tell her the truth or keep it hidden? Confused in Canada
Dear Canada: It is not your place to tell her. Your aunt should be the one to do so, but obviously she is unwilling. Talk to your aunt again, and encourage her to tell the truth, giving Melody time to come to terms with the situation. If she refuses, leave things alone.
Dear Annie: My internist is an excellent practitioner, but I have a problem with his time management. I had an appointment last week at 3 p.m., and I was still in the waiting room an hour later. I asked the receptionist how much longer it would be, and she said another hour. I promptly canceled and walked out.
This happens every time. Sometimes, I wait three hours or more. A friend of mine who used to go to this doctor now has a new one who she says is excellent, and the wait is only 15 minutes. I hate to change doctors. What should I do? Enough Time To Write a Book
Dear Book: You know what to do. There is no excuse for an internist to make you wait so long every time. Make sure you tell your doctor why you are leaving his practice. If he's smart, he'll do something about it.
Dear Annie: I am getting married in August. I asked my brother's wife, "Marge," to stand up in the wedding, and now I am regretting the decision.
Marge is less than enthusiastic about the event, has made wisecracks about being a bridesmaid and does not feel she should have to pay for her gown. When I confront her, she backpedals, swears she really wants to do this and reassures me that it's all right. I don't think so.
I'm becoming depressed over Marge's attitude, and the thought of her participating makes me queasy. How do I gently release her from this task without bringing down the wrath of my family? I want my wedding party to include only those people who are truly happy for me. A Bride-To-Be in Alaska
Dear Alaska: Have a heart-to-heart with Marge. Let her know, gently, that weddings are stressful and her attitude is putting a damper on your plans. Ask if she can summon up a bit of happiness for you. Understand that if you drop Marge from the wedding party, you will not be able to avoid hurt feelings. But if you are determined not to have her walk down the aisle, tell her, "I see that this is difficult for you, so I'm releasing you from your obligation to be a bridesmaid. I wouldn't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."
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