KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Her stepson's obsession with little girls is troubling

Dear Annie: I am very concerned that my stepson is a pedophile in progress. "Warren" is nearly 15 years old and is erotically obsessed with little girls. He collects pictures, makes pornographic drawings and recently wrote an erotic story describing his seduction of a young girl. We also found a list of his "future plans," which include, in part, seeking out underage girls for sex.
Warren has been seeing a counselor for years, but when we approached the counselor with our concerns, he says he's "watching him closely." So are we, and we are absolutely sickened.
Warren will not discuss his obsession with us. What should our next step be? If you print this, please sign me Worried in Wyoming
Dear Worried: You must be at your wits' end about this boy. Keep in mind that Warren may be deliberately mimicking the obsessive behavior of pedophiles that he sees in movies or on television. It may not mean that he is actually going to do any of these things, but you must be vigilant nonetheless.
Warren may need more in-depth therapy than he is getting. Ask the counselor to discuss Warren's progress with you. If he refuses to provide any reassurance, it might be time to have Warren see someone else. Meanwhile, you and your husband could benefit from some therapy as well, and some suggestions to help Warren. Ask your doctor for a referral, or contact the Alliance for Children and Families at (800) 221-2681 (alliance1.org), the YMCA or United Way, for a low-cost recommendation.
Dear Annie: I am a 16-year-old girl, and my parents have been divorced for 13 years. I haven't seen or heard from my father for 12 of them.
Recently, I was searching online and came upon my father's current address. Now I'm debating whether I should write him. My dad is not a bad person. It's just that his relationship with my mother (who is seriously like a saint) was preventing him from seeing me. I realize this is no excuse, but I'd still like to write him.
I know if I contact my father, it will hurt my mother. I am so torn. Can you help me decide what to do? Torn in the States
Dear Torn: As long as you don't have any great expectations about seeing Dad again, we recommend that you get in touch, but we don't think you should keep it a secret from Mom. You may be wrong about how she will react, especially if she is a "saint." Show her this letter and tell her you wrote it. It's time for a long talk.
Dear Annie: I just found out that a distant cousin is giving me a bridal shower in two weeks (it was supposed to be a surprise). It is virtually impossible for me to get that Saturday off work. What's worse, in order for the shower to be centrally located for everyone, it is a five-hour round-trip drive for me.
I've asked if the location could be moved closer to me, or if the time could be set earlier so that I could still make it back to work a bit late, but the hostess says no to both. This shower has become a huge inconvenience. Is it unreasonable to ask that it be called off? Exhausted Bride-To-Be
Dear Exhausted: A bridal shower should be given when it is convenient for the bride. Your cousin no doubt thinks she's doing you a big favor, but, in fact, it is downright inconsiderate to make it so difficult. If you are willing to jump through the necessary hoops to attend, it would probably spare some family unpleasantness. Otherwise, tell your cousin that you appreciate her thoughtfulness, but it won't be possible for you to be there.
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