KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Cell phone enabled her husband to have affair

Dear Annie: I am curious how many people have discovered their spouse having a long-distance affair by cell phone. A lot has been said about Internet affairs, yet communicating by cell phone is so much more immediate and intrusive.
My husband began by exchanging e-mails with this woman, then moved immediately to talking on the cell phone to his "friend" several times a day. She phoned him at our house, at his job, during our vacations, everywhere he went. (He said they were business calls.)
He flew out to meet her once and was planning a second visit before I caught him. Is this type of affair becoming more prevalent? Is this a growing trend? C.A.
Dear C.A.: Do we think cell phones are used to aid and abet affairs? We think people who have affairs arrange to talk to one another any way they can. Your husband's cell phone was certainly more convenient than sneaking off to the nearest pay phone. The end result, however, is the same. Of course, the flip side of using a cell phone is that someone else can check the call log and find out who is calling whom.
Dear Annie: This is in response to the letter from "Iowa Adoptee," who felt she didn't belong to any family. She didn't want to search for her biological parents, but asked if other adoptees suffer from the same depression and low self-esteem.
I am a 51-year-old woman adoptee, and I suffer from low self-esteem, but it stems from the way I was brought up. I was never close to my relatives, and when my mother died, I lost all contact. Fifteen years ago, I chose to search for my biological mother. She had the nerve to ask when my birthday was. Wasn't she there? I've lost contact with her, which is just as well.
I would never recommend anyone look for those fairy tale parents who will welcome you into their arms. One thing I work on all the time is happiness within myself. I'd like to tell "Iowa" -- make yourself happy, visit a nursing home, volunteer at your local animal shelter. I have found these things to be a tremendous help in making me appreciate how blessed I really am. Still Working on It in Florida
Dear Florida: Thanks for your input. Read on:
From Colorado: I am a 53-year-old adoptee. I loved my adoptive parents, but I needed to fill the hole in my life. I found my biological mother and six siblings, and now I feel complete. My biological mom had tried to find me before, to no avail. I think "Iowa" is missing out on something that could change her whole outlook. Please let her know there are a lot of us out there who can relate to her.
Kentucky: I am a 50-year-old man, adopted at birth. I never felt unloved, and I know I was my grandmother's favorite. When my legal parents passed on, I found my biological mother. This past summer, I drove by her house and it occurred to me to stop in, but the urge passed. Had this woman wanted anything to do with me, she could have called a long time ago. Here's what I feel emptiness about: I'd like to know who my natural father is, did he know about me, do I have any half-brothers or sisters, and I wish I could tell my own children about their family history.
Midwest: I just came home from spending time with my birth brothers, birth mom and her husband. It was awesome. My adoptive mom is still alive, and I have one adopted brother whom I love very much. They will never be replaced in my life, but I have added so much more. I know these stories don't always turn out well, but I am so glad to have the most amazing relationship with my three new brothers. Finding my birth mother has helped her reach closure, also. She always wondered where I was and if I was OK. Now she knows.
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