Thongs: from good to bad

Dear Annie: I have two young children, ages 6 and 4. We live in a nice apartment community with a pool. Since I am a stay-at-home mommy, we practically live at the pool during the summer.
The problem is that a new couple moved in last year and they use the pool as their personal motel room. They often make out and grope each other in the water.
Even worse, the woman wears a thong. She takes every opportunity to bend over and bare her rear end in the direction of any man in sight.
Friends of ours in the complex confronted this couple about their behavior, and things got nasty. I have called our apartment manager many times, but nothing has been done. I took a close-up photo of the woman at the pool, captioned it, "When good thongs go bad," and left it on their door, but even that did not deter them.
My children now refer to the woman as "The Butt Lady." I don't know what to do other than leave the pool when she shows up. This seems unfair. I don't want to confront these people in front of my children because their response is unpredictable. Any suggestions? Rubbed the Wrong Way in Lincoln, Neb.
Dear Lincoln: Are there dress-code or behavior restrictions posted by the pool or distributed to tenants? Is this couple in violation?
If so, the manager should be enforcing the rules, or you should notify the building owner. If there are no such restrictions, there's not much you can do other than avoid the pool when Mr. and Mrs. Butt Lady are around. Sorry.
Dear Annie: Fifteen years ago, my brother married "Mattie," a woman our family never accepted for reasons pertaining to religion, education and background. I adore my brother. When a few of Mattie's relatives made negative comments about him at the wedding, I resented it but didn't say a word. Over the years, the anger resonated and I chose to keep my distance, which was easy since I live far away.
Recently, I was at a family event, and Mattie made a comment that set off the old grievances. She said I should participate more in the life she has created for them. I responded with all the venom that had built up in the intervening years, and my response was completely inappropriate. She didn't know what hit her.
I apologized, but only half-heartedly. I fear a real apology would bring up all the old issues and make the situation worse. Is everyone better off if I just stay out of their lives, or should I try to gain her forgiveness? Regretful and Confused
Dear Regretful: Try once more, only this time, mean it. Apparently, your brother has a solid marriage and those old grievances no longer matter. Mattie has done nothing to justify your hostility. Her relatives' comments at the wedding should not be held against her (not to mention it was 15 years ago). And wanting you to be a bigger part of her life ought to be a good thing, not a burden.
Call or e-mail Mattie as soon as possible. Don't rehash old arguments. Simply say, "I'm sorry about the horrible things I said. I've misjudged you, and I feel rotten about it. Please give me an opportunity to start over and get to know you better." We hope she's willing to give you a second chance.
Dear Annie: I've read plenty about speeding drivers, but I have not heard anything about jaywalking -- which is also dangerous and illegal. I say the police should enforce the law. What do you say? J. in California
Dear J.: Enforcing fines could go a long way toward making someone think twice about jaywalking, but it won't change much for those who are too rushed, reckless, inattentive or just plain don't care. But thanks for suggesting it.
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