KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox He can't see any light at the end of the tunnel

Dear Annie: I have been married to "Sally" for 22 years, and we have two great kids. Our friends see us as the perfect couple. We've hit a few bumps in the road but have always worked things out. This time, I'm afraid I have no answers.
For the past year, Sally and I have had no physical or romantic contact. She says there is no longer any passion in her heart for me, and she has no interest in being intimate and loving. She believes there must be something more out there.
This is ripping me apart. I love Sally with all my heart and soul. She has been my best friend, my soul mate and my confidante. I always have sacrificed for her and the kids, and been the best father and husband I could possibly be. Sally says counseling would be a waste of time and she refuses to consider it, but meanwhile, she can't decide on our future.
Do I just wait around and see what happens, or do I force the issue? Living apart will be a financial challenge, but having her stay here makes me feel like she's simply buying time until she finds something more to her liking. I need to get on with my life, but I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Please give me some guidance. Confused and Brokenhearted
Dear Confused: Counseling may not be what Sally wants, but it could do a world of good for you. If she refuses to seek help, go without her. Then talk to an attorney about a legal separation, so you and Sally can live independently while deciding on the next step. If that doesn't wake her up, at least you will be in a better position to go on without her. Good luck.
Dear Annie: I am a 44-year-old male with a severe hearing impairment. I cannot understand normal conversation, but I have taught myself to read lips and can manage OK if the person is looking directly at me and articulating well.
My family and close friends are very supportive, but I have a problem with strangers. When I tell people I am deaf and must read lips, they react as if I am joking. How can I make it clear that I have a special need? Orange Park, Fla.
Dear Orange Park: It should be plenty clear when you don't respond to them. Some people have no experience with hearing-impaired individuals and initially could think you are playing games. Once they see that you are serious, they will behave better. Try to be patient.
Dear Annie: My husband is a fun-loving high school drama teacher. He enjoys his job, and most of his students are great. A handful of kids, however, viciously turn on him whenever they don't get the part they think they deserve. Sometimes, their parents get involved and come whining to him.
This has caused my husband much frustration and sadness. When a couple of kids egged our home last week, it hurt him to the bone. I may be old-fashioned, but what happened to the respect that I remember my high school teachers receiving? Disappointment is a natural part of life. Don't parents realize their interference will do their child more harm than good in the long run?
This attitude stuff happens nearly every time a cast list is posted, and it's getting really old. Any suggestions? Frustrated Drama Wife in Turlock, Calif.
Dear Turlock: First, any student who can be identified as egging the teacher's house should be dropped from the show. Then, assuming your husband is being fair in assigning parts, he should make it clear that anyone who grouses or retaliates will be guaranteed the role of garden shrub in the next production. And make it stick.
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