KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox Her decision centers around Mom's quality of life

Dear Annie: Recently, my 85-year-old mother had a biopsy done, and the doctors want to remove her breast. Mom already has had one breast removed and is in poor health. Mom also is suffering from some dementia and doesn't understand what is going on around her unless we catch her on a good day. I am not going to allow them to take her other breast. I don't believe major surgery will benefit her.
I am mostly concerned about Mom's quality of life. My brother says he will go along with whatever I decide, but he's the one with power of attorney and he can override my decision. Am I right in wanting Mom to have dignity during whatever time she has left? Concerned Daughter
Dear Concerned: We spoke with Dr. Jeanne Wei, professor and executive vice chairman of the Donald W. Reynolds Center on Aging in Little Rock, Ark. She agrees with you 100 percent. If your mother is in a great deal of pain that cannot be managed by medication, surgery may become necessary, but surgery also can complicate other underlying conditions.
According to Dr. Wei, the question any person in this type of situation should ask is, "Would these medical procedures improve my loved one's cognition and quality of life?" All of us would want nothing less. Discuss the options with your brother, and make sure he backs you up.
Dear Annie: I'm a 50-year-old woman, and my boyfriend, "Jake," lives in Florida. Jake has been to my home five times, and I've visited him twice. We've taken several vacations together. The plan was for Jake to move here when he retires next year, but I'm not sure our relationship is the same any longer. He seems to be pulling away, but when I ask him about it, he says it's stress from his job.
Jake and I wanted to buy a boat together. The last time I visited him, we found the perfect one at a great price. Jake didn't have his retirement money, so I paid for the boat, but it is registered in Jake's name only. He has used it for fishing a few times and is supposed to ship the boat to my house soon.
Now I'm concerned Jake will change his mind. I have the canceled check for the purchase of the boat, and Jake signed a statement saying the boat belongs to me in case of his death. My question is, what if we break up and he decides not to ship the boat? Do I have any recourse, or am I out the money? Worried in Chicago
Dear Worried: If Jake and the boat don't join you in Chicago, or if he refuses to reimburse you for the cost, you can take him to court. You stand an excellent chance of getting your money back, but you will have to consult a lawyer about the particulars. Before jumping to conclusions, however, it might be a good idea to give Jake the opportunity to make things right. We're hoping he comes through.
Dear Annie: I came across this story on the Internet. I have no idea who wrote it, but it made me laugh, and I wanted to share it. Janet in Texas
Dear Janet: Thanks for a good chuckle. Here's the story:
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1959." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"
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