RELATIONSHIPS Want to know what women want? Guys, it's in the bag

You have to keep romance alive by saying and doing the little things.
By BARTON GOLDSMITH
SCRIPPS HOWARD
The last time I was buying a gift for my partner at Victoria's Secret, the girl behind the counter said: "You're great. Some guys just don't get it."
As I walked into the elevator with two large pink-and-white-striped bags I had the feeling the three women on the elevator were staring at me. What could they be thinking. Was I buying something for a girlfriend? A wife? Both? ... Do they think I work there or that I'm a cross-dresser and buying things for myself?
But, hey, there was only one floor and I'd be out before they could say a thing. Obviously I was being way too self absorbed. They probably wouldn't even notice.
No sooner did the doors close than one of them said, "Are those all for you?" She really tuned in to my fears and I immediately responded, "No, they're for her."
"Does she know how wonderful you are?" said another woman, holding the hand of her daughter.
"She tells me every day," I said, praying for the doors to open.
How long does it take to go one floor anyway?
The third woman chimed in, "Good, because we all want to take you home."
Stuff like that
And the doors parted; like Moses crossing the Red Sea, I bravely walked through the mall to the parking lot, thinking, "Thank God I'm outta there and on my way to the safety of my car, where I could hide from all of them."
Men must not get it, I thought. Why else would these women respond so openly? Well, maybe it was just an off-the-wall thing. It would never happen again.
As I got to my car, a couple -- well, actually the female part of the couple -- noticed me putting the bags in the car. She said, in a voice loud enough for her husband (and the rest of the parking lot) to hear: "Look at him with those Victoria's Secret bags. Bet you're not married, are you?"
I smiled politely and explained I was in a long-term committed relationship.
"See," she said, "married men don't do stuff like that."
"Yes they do," I said, wanting to defend married men in general and her husband in particular. I referred them to a couple of books, including Greg Godek's "1,001 Ways to Be Romantic," for ideas.
A state of mind
I think men are romantic by nature. Now stop laughing. ... The problem is that they don't know where to go for new ideas when they run out of their own.
Being romantic is easy. Figuring out what to do to create a little more romance in your relationship is the hard part.
The important thing is to know that when you feel romantic, if you don't do something romantic, you won't get to be romantic. You have to keep romance alive throughout your lives by saying and doing the little things.
Romance is a state of mind, not an act. If you want to express your romantic feelings to someone you love, do something, anything, rather than nothing. Remember, when it comes to romance, it's the deeds that count.