KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR \ Annie's Mailbox In-laws, husband accuse her of lying about age

Dear Annie: I have been married to "Reuben" for the past 10 years. We are both 45. Unfortunately, I look older than he does. I have more wrinkles around my mouth, between my eyebrows and around my eyes. The skin of my chin and throat is saggy and loose. However, I don't see any of those age-related signs on Reuben.
Here is the problem: Reuben and his family constantly accuse me of lying about my age, even though they have seen my birth certificate. I find these comments quite hurtful. I don't have the money for a facelift or Botox injections, or any other kind of surgery to improve my looks. Can you tell me if there is some exercise that will help me tighten up my skin? Hurting Wife in California
Dear Wife: People age differently, and your husband apparently has been luckier than you. However, that's no excuse for hurtful remarks. Make it perfectly clear to Reuben that his comments are damaging your feelings for him and he should knock it off -- and you expect him to inform his family members to lay off as well.
The aging face can be beautiful, but it's not particularly appreciated in our society. Some exercises purport to tighten the skin, but there is no hard evidence that they work. There are creams with retinoids and/or vitamins C and E that can help with fine lines. Drinking lots of water, along with a good facial, will give your skin a nice glow, and makeup can camouflage a great many flaws. Unfortunately, short of gluing your skin to your ears, there's not much you can do about a saggy throat.
Focus on other areas that make you feel good about yourself, and hope your husband will learn to see your inner beauty. Meanwhile, save your money for a facelift.
Dear Annie: I am a college student and live in an on-campus apartment with two foreign students. I have no problem with these girls. They are very sweet, despite the language barrier.
Last night, the girls used a metal utensil on my new Teflon-coated pans and scratched them to bits. Pans are not cheap, and I spent extra money to get a nice set that would last. I had given the girls a plastic spoon to use in these pans, and tried to explain why. They nodded that they understood, but I guess my pantomime routine wasn't good enough, because the message obviously didn't get through. How can I get the girls to replace my pans? Student in Bellingham, Wash.
Dear Student: Find someone on campus who speaks the same language as your roommates and can be plainly understood. (Try the foreign-language department.) These girls need to realize that they destroyed the pans and are responsible for replacing them. Since your instructions about using plastic spoons may not have been clear, it seems fair to split the cost of replacement three ways. Take the girls shopping, select what you need, and ask them to pay their share.
Dear Annie: Why is it that manufacturers of men's shirts and shorts think every man is built like the Jolly Green Giant? In order to tuck in these shirts, I have to stuff them halfway down my legs. And on smaller men, baggy shorts look like someone forgot to finish off the bottom of the pants.
What happened to normal-length shorts and T-shirts that don't look like dresses? Mike in Missouri
Dear Mike: They're still around, but you have to look harder to find them. If you are built small, look in boys' clothing departments, or, if you can afford it, have your clothing tailored to fit. Also check the Internet for shops that carry your size and preferred length, and order online.
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