The evolving American male

"Is he gay?" my friend wondered.
I shook my head. "No." I was shocked by the (mostly) kidding question, but wondered if I should have expected it.
After all, I had just described today's stereotypical gay man: likes shopping, has great taste in clothes, talks openly about his feelings and is not afraid to cry while watching the American movie classic "It's a Wonderful Life." But this wasn't a gay friend -- it was my boyfriend.
By society's standards for men, I suppose it wouldn't add up. Consider "The Man Show," for instance, in which men are reduced to drooling over girls jumping on trampolines. Since men are assumed to enjoy only movies involving car chases and things blowing up, it's no wonder that a guy who actually expresses himself is automatically regarded as rare or gay.
Yet new research shows that "The Man Show" and its counterparts may be nothing but a slap in the face of the modern man. This June, Euro RSCG Worldwide, a communications group, surveyed American men between 21 and 48 as well as women in the same age group who had a man in their lives. The survey examined "the current state of masculinity," and the results strayed from the traditional concept of men.
What they wish for
When asked what they would choose if granted only one wish, 35 percent of men said they wanted "to grow old with a woman [they] love." This was followed by 22 percent wanting "to have happy, healthy kids." The men chose these over options more typically associated with the expectations and dreams of men, such as heading up a major corporation or being a sports star.
Furthermore, 89 percent of male participants believed that "in the business world, good grooming is essential for men today," and 49 percent also deemed it acceptable for a man to get a facial or a manicure. If these numbers don't illuminate a changing trend in gender perception, consider the 63 percent of surveyed men who disagree with the statement that "the average woman doesn't bring as much value to the workplace as the average man."
Based on this survey, society is clearly not giving men the credit they deserve. While ads exploit men as being more testosterone-driven, many men are "embrac[ing] ... attitudes once deemed the province of women." Euro RSCG has dubbed this up-and-coming man the "metrosexual," defined to be someone "comfortable in [his] masculinity and in [his] sense of self."
Parallels women's movement
"The metrosexual represents the tipping point of a shift that parallels the process -- though not the passion or the politicization -- of the women's movement," says Marian Salzman, chief strategy officer at Euro RSCG and one of the study's architects. "In the 1900s, women had to struggle to win parity with men. In this new century, men ... are finding the courage to explore the female domain without fear of losing their status as 'real' men. As the survey results show, more and more men are willing to take that risk."
Yet a man shouldn't have to "risk" his masculinity when a movie makes him cry or a moment brings him to sentimental expression. The media may continue to question that, but in the end it appears the metrosexual will respond with a perspective that is, thankfully, quite different from traditional expectations.
XEmily A. Stoddard, 19, of Grand Rapids, Mich., is a columnist for Blue Jean Online. Read more articles and reviews by young women at http://www.bluejeanonline.com, or check out the book "Blue Jean: What Young Women are Thinking, Saying and Doing."