KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox Desperate teenager shouldn't deal with it alone

Dear Annie: I am a 15-year-old girl, and I am scared for my future. My family is so unstable that I seem to be the most responsible person in the household.
Since my father left last year, Mom has become depressed. She quit her job, and the only money we receive is whatever Dad sends. Mom appears healthy and put together, but she stays locked up in her room for days without eating. She forgets to take my younger sisters and me to school or activities. Sometimes, she even forgets to go grocery shopping, and there is nothing in the house to eat.
I am lost. I don't know what to do. We have no close family because my mother has ruined all those relationships. My dad's family doesn't approve of us, and I know no other relatives. I've thought of living with my father, but Mom would fall apart, and I'd feel terribly guilty. Please help me. A Desperate Teenager
Dear Teenager: You should not have to deal with this alone. If you don't feel comfortable discussing the situation with your father, talk to your school counselor and explain the problem. Your mother sounds depressed, and she probably needs professional help. It is brave of you to want to keep things together, but this is too great a responsibility. If your relatives won't step up, ask the school counselor about the social services available in your area. Write soon and let us know how you are.
Dear Annie: I just read the letter from "No Mail to Open in Maryland," whose wife continually misplaced important bills. You were right to tell him to open a post office box, but he must be the only one with access to it. Also, he can't receive mail at the box if it is addressed to his wife, so the bills should be in his name.
I don't believe "No Mail's" wife has a memory problem. My guess is that she is spending bill money on other things. Does she have a habit that is out of control, debts he doesn't know about? Does she not have enough spending money? Could she be hiding money in a savings account somewhere?
My mother-in-law did all of the above. Her family lived payday-to-payday, and her husband threw temper tantrums if she ever complained to him that they couldn't afford something. So she hid the bills and used the money to pay for other things.
Meanwhile, utilities would be cut off, the phone was always off the hook in order to avoid creditors, and ultimately, they lost their house.
It might be a good idea for "No Mail" to get a credit report and find out if there are other unpaid debts he doesn't know about. No Mystery to Me
Dear No Mystery: You paint a rather alarming picture of what could simply be irresponsibility and forgetfulness. However, it is wise to be cautious, and we appreciate the warning.
Dear Annie: My sister and I were sitting in my car, enjoying some ice cream, when we observed a young mother (with not an ounce of brains in her head), feeding ice cream to a young child in a stroller, then to a big dog, and then to herself -- all from the same spoon.
Annie, that poor child wasn't old enough to know what was going on. Of course, we didn't say anything to the mother, because some people get crazy these days. But, what do you think of this? Caring Senior Citizens
Dear Caring Citizens: While there is some debate about the germ content of a dog's saliva (we've covered this topic before), it is true that dogs lick a lot of things you wouldn't want to put in a baby's mouth. Let's hope that mother sees this in her local paper and recognizes herself.
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