ANNIE'S MAILBOX She doesn't want to share medical information

Dear Annie: I have several chronic illnesses and am on disability. I rarely discuss my condition with my family and never with friends. It is bad enough being sick, and I do not want to make my problems the topic of conversation.
Recently, I overheard my husband on the phone with his mother. He was rummaging through the medicine cabinet and discussing my various medications with her. This made me incredibly angry. He already tells her every detail of his life, but this is my private business.
My husband says his mother is only trying to help. She is coming for a visit soon, and I insisted my husband tell her that my health is not to be part of the conversation, but I'm afraid she will bring it up anyway. Tell me, am I overreacting? And what do I do if she brings it up? Outraged in Cambridge, Mass.
Dear Outraged: You don't have to talk about your health if you don't want to, but it is pointless to pretend Mama doesn't know. When she brings it up, simply say, "I know you mean well, Mom, but I don't care to discuss it." Then change the subject. Do this as often as necessary.
Put a lid on your husband's big mouth. He needs to understand that giving out your personal information without your permission is a breach of trust that undermines the fabric of a good marriage.
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 32 years, and we have one daughter. "Ignatz" was married before, and his ex-wife still uses his last name. Shortly after the divorce, his ex had a son by another man, yet she gave the boy the same last name as my husband.
Ignatz and I were furious, but the law states we can't do anything about it. Her son is now married with children, and they all have my husband's last name. I've told her son that my husband is not his father and that the only reason he has this last name is due to his mother's stupidity, but he refuses to change it.
Ignatz's last name is quite unusual, which means people believe we are all related. We think it is very vindictive of the ex-wife to have given her son this name. After all, he isn't Ignatz's child. What will he tell his children about their heritage?
This ordeal has angered me so much that it is consuming my life and causing me to lose sleep. Can you provide some way to get past this? Mrs. Ignatz in Ohio
Dear Ohio: After all these years, this issue is too petty to be consuming your life. Your anger is out of proportion to the situation. It makes perfect sense that his ex would want her son to have the same last name she has. What he tells his children about their heritage is his business. He knows the truth, and they probably will, too.
A shared name does not take anything away from your status as Ignatz's wife or your daughter's identity as a member of his family. If you cannot let this go, talk to a therapist who will help you gain perspective and get some sleep.
Dear Annie: I had to respond to the letter regarding tipping the camp counselor. Many years ago, I was a camp counselor, and we were absolutely forbidden to accept tips from campers or their parents.
Being a counselor was a great summer job. I was paid to spend two months in a beautiful location and meet people from all over. That counselor should work as a waiter, where people show their appreciation with money, not as a camp counselor, where hard work is rewarded by the smile on a camper's face. Avalon Alumna
Dear Avalon: Your campers must have loved you. Thanks for writing.
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