KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR | Annie's Mailbox She's worried that grandson will be kidnapped

Dear Annie: My daughter, "Angela," is divorcing her husband, "Rick." Rick is a heroin and cocaine user. He recently fled the country to live with relatives in Europe, and we haven't heard a word from him since. Angela discovered his whereabouts through a mutual friend. We assume he is in legal trouble or worse.
During their separation, Rick had regular visitation with his son, who is 4 years old. His mother usually baby-sat. Now this woman is lying to my daughter. She says she has no idea where Rick is, but Angela found out that his mother is the one who paid for his plane ticket out of the country.
Angela has told her mother-in-law that she will no longer bring the boy over and let her baby-sit. She is afraid Rick's mother will take the child to Europe. Angela agreed to let her mother-in-law see the grandchild but only in Angela's presence. Now the woman is hiring a lawyer who specializes in grandparents' rights.
Will the court give Grandma unsupervised visits? Worried in Portland, Maine
Dear Portland: Angela needs a lawyer who will make it clear to the court that the grandmother might take the boy out of the country and, quite possibly, won't return him to his mother. The courts tend to rely on the custodial parent's judgment of the situation, and it is likely Angela's concerns will take precedence over Grandma's.
Dear Annie: This is in response to the letter from "Worried Mom in Tennessee," who said the new high school coach was drinking alcohol with underage kids at a party in one of the parents' homes.
As a 12-year teacher, coach and administrator, I am appalled that parents allowed alcohol at a party that included high school students. Coaches have a code of ethics to abide by. I would report this incident to the principal and athletic director of the school for a full investigation.
Our students need strong role models who will be held accountable for proper and ethical behavior. J.D., Camarillo, Calif.
Dear J.D.: We received a lot of mail from outraged readers who wanted this coach fired at once, and they have a point. However, our thinking was that this coach was newly hired and a bit unsure of himself. Over the summer, he was invited to the home of some parents, and alcohol was served. It seems likely he was intimidated, and we attributed his participation to poor judgment. We felt he deserved one more chance to shape up before losing his job.
Dear Annie: Thank you for asking your readers to remember those involved in the Sept. 11 tragedy. However, in discussing those who put their lives on the line, you missed a group that was among the first to die and the very first to be forgotten. I am talking about the pilots and flight attendants who worked for United Airlines and American Airlines, and whose flights crashed into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and the field in Pennsylvania. They hardly get a mention.
We crew members are working harder than ever to keep the skies as safe as possible. I would like to take this time to remember the flight crews of all four airplanes and tell their families, "Thank you. We will remember your loved ones forever." Kelly Mowery, United Flight Attendant
Dear Kelly: Thank you for reminding us. You might be interested to know that there are plans to create a flight crew memorial near Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport. Anyone who would like more information should write to: 9-11 Flight Crew Memorial, 125 E. Worth St., Grapevine, Texas 76051 (world-memorial.org/tribute/american/memorial.html)
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