UNSUPERVISED CHILDREN Kids, home alone

By MARY ELLEN PELLEGRINI
VINDICATOR CORRESPONDENT
T SOME POINT, WORKING PARENTS reluctantly admit that after-school programs, day-care facilities and baby sitters are no longer viable child-care arrangements.
The prospect of having a baby sitter humiliates the pre-teen crowd, while economic issues force parents to reassess the high cost of child care.
By age 12, the National Association of School Psychologists estimates, one-third of schoolchildren are home alone after school.
"Latchkey kids have been around since the 1950s," said Dr. Douglas Darnall, a psychologist with PsyCare and the Trumbull County Family Court and a former latchkey child.
"I didn't have a problem with it," he said of his experience. "But one of the concerns with latchkey kids is they still require close supervision. Even though the kids say 'I'm old enough to take care of myself,' they clearly have to have contact with a parent or responsible adult," Dr. Darnall said.
How some families do it
Debbie and Marty Watts of Girard enlisted nearby grandparents and a neighbor as adult contacts for their two sons. Luke and Matt, now college students, were allowed to stay home alone when they were seventh- and third-graders, respectively.
"We were fortunate that my husband and I were able to balance our schedules so the boys were only home about two hours," said Mrs. Watts. During that time, Luke and Matt were expected to start their homework and do chores.
"I'd leave a note telling them what I wanted done," related Mrs. Watts, who checked what they did when she got home.
As a third-grader in Boardman, Christine Johnson also arrived home from school two hours before her parents. She and her two older sisters got their house key from a neighbor, let themselves in, changed clothes, got a snack and played. "That was our time to experiment, typical kid's stuff, but nothing we got in trouble for," said Johnson.
For both families, a cooperative neighbor helped deter unapproved activities.
"We could play outside in our immediate neighborhood, but no one was allowed inside the house," noted Christine. She walked home and played with her neighbor's children, keeping her close to a responsible adult. "She was always there. We never felt alone," said Johnson of that neighbor.
"The bottom line in preventing problems is children always need to feel the presence of adult supervision. Children are better equipped to resist temptation when they feel that presence," said Darnall.
Knowing their peers
Since temptation for middle and junior high schoolers often arises from peer pressure, "the child's peer group becomes even more important," he added. Darnall advises parents to know their children's friends and have a talking relationship with the parents of those friends.
"Occasionally, our kids could have a friend over if we knew the boy and his parents and talked to the parents beforehand, but no girls," said Marty Watts. One reason for restricting friends was the family's swimming pool. "The kids knew how to swim since they were 6," Mrs. Watts said, "but I worried about someone diving into shallow water. The pool was off limits until we came home."
In addition to supervision, planning ahead is essential, according to Barbara A. Bakos, school psychologist with the Mahoning County Educational Service Center.
"Being alone in the house is a new experience, and it can take children awhile to be comfortable with it," she explained.
She recommends that parents talk through the situation, lay out acceptable activities and clearly define dos and don'ts. "If you assume your child will know what to do when he's home alone, you could be very wrong," Bakos added.
Setting parameters
The Wattses decided on some parameters before agreeing to let their sons stay home alone. "We planned this out together. Then we basically said this is how it's going to work," Watts said, as his wife agreed. They instituted a daily mandatory check-in with a parent or grandparent. "It was great when cell phones came along," Mrs. Watts said.
One obvious reason for planning ahead revolves around safety. "Emergencies can happen at any time. You need to make sure the child can handle the situation if something should happen," cautioned Bakos.
The Wattses practiced the stop, drop and roll drill for fires and made up an emergency exit plan. They also had numbers for police, fire and ambulance near the phone.
Because her experience was positive, Johnson anticipates a similar arrangement for her children.
"The issue of after-school care is a real tough situation that has no simple solutions," stated Darnall. Supervision, communication, planning and awareness are needed as is the active involvement of fathers. And perhaps most importantly, "don't give kids more than they can handle," said Mrs. Watts.